10th June 2006, 7:39 PM
In the year 3000, the ape-monsters from behind the planet's small moon made a daring attempt to overthrow their banana overseers. Unfortunately the attack came during the earlier spring and the bananas were still hard and green CAUSING THE APES TO GO INSANE WITH JEALOUSY. This has been referred to as the Great Jealousocity Bacon Marshmallow Day. For the next 11 years the apes were tortured mercilessly by the Torture Bots and Huggle Station Androids from Venus. The torture ended once Frankenberry was elected to the position of Supreme Chancellor of the Smarty Smart Guy Council of Wise Elders. He passed a proclomation making it a crime to knowningly take growth-enhancing hormone suppositories [but regular pills were still okay], this caused the trolls making the Kill-Droids to lose all their strength and so it was impossible for them to continue with their diabolic deeds of wicked androcity.
Five years later, another ape uprising came about. This time, with the aid of the Abe Lincoln clones secretly made in order to confuse the John Wilks Booth clones that had been terrorising the local bars, they were able to overthrow the oppressive tyrrany that had for so long forced them into low-paying managerial jobs at all the law offices. The new leader of the Sub-Human Tractor Planet was a tiger monkey named Leo Bumpkin Space Man II [after his mother]. He proclaimed that any used cars sold for more than 50% of their retail price [unless they were less than two years old] were to be immediately set up as gods for some of the outlying tribes. He stated that this was because it would be "a really funny joke on those dumb yokels".
Five thousands years later, the entire universe was run by cars, which just goes to show you that if you make fun of people that aren't smart, they will eventually make a sentient race of cars that will dominate the universe.
Five years later, another ape uprising came about. This time, with the aid of the Abe Lincoln clones secretly made in order to confuse the John Wilks Booth clones that had been terrorising the local bars, they were able to overthrow the oppressive tyrrany that had for so long forced them into low-paying managerial jobs at all the law offices. The new leader of the Sub-Human Tractor Planet was a tiger monkey named Leo Bumpkin Space Man II [after his mother]. He proclaimed that any used cars sold for more than 50% of their retail price [unless they were less than two years old] were to be immediately set up as gods for some of the outlying tribes. He stated that this was because it would be "a really funny joke on those dumb yokels".
Five thousands years later, the entire universe was run by cars, which just goes to show you that if you make fun of people that aren't smart, they will eventually make a sentient race of cars that will dominate the universe.
Sometimes you get the scorpion.