Hi! Im Jamie!

[Rocket Jockey]

Hello. My name is Jamie. I don't really know what this site is. Coconutcomander told me I need to join this site and say some stuff. He told me I needed to say somethings about myself so that everyone here has some perspective on whatever I say. I am a 23. I am from Savannah, GA. I dont have a southern accent though. I have been dating Coconutcomander since august. I am in the USAF, too. I outrank CoconutComander and I have a motorcycle. I like mob movies. I dont know what else to say. I dont think Ill be on here alot, Im only writing this because Coconutcomander keeps begging me to. He probably doesnt want me to say it but his real name is Clifford John Willey. He is dumb, lol.

[Smoke]

Okay.

[Weltall]

[COW]dg[/COW]

My name is Ryan. I'm also 23. I live in Virginia but I only have a southern accent when I choose to fake it. I don't date anyone who posts here, because frankly, you're the only female we've got at the moment and no matter how you look at it, things would be rather funny if I said I did.

WE HAVE A COW A LOVELY COW.

Welcome.

[Great Rumbler]

We've got another new member!! *rings large bell* Welcome to the forum!

[EdenMaster]

Sweet mother of cheese! If we get anymore new posters we might crash the server!!

Oh, and welcome :).

[A Black Falcon]

I don't date anyone who posts here, because frankly, you're the only female we've got at the moment and no matter how you look at it, things would be rather funny if I said I did.

Well, no regulars anyway, a couple of quite infrequent posters are female. If "maybe they post every six months" is an infrequent poster... I'm sure there were more in the RC days, but there were a lot more people here then, so of course there would be.

[Geno]

Yay for new members! Boo for one-time-posters though. :(

Welcome, if you decide to stay! :D I'm Geno, age 19, and I just pop in and out. I guess you could say I'm a semi-regular. I tend to post frequently for a few months, then disappear for a few months, then post frequently again for a few months.

[CoconutCommander]

*high fives self*
Mark that one recruitment point for Cokenut!! Yes!!

Welcome to the most exciting forums in the world. By utilizing this site to its full potential you can learn a lot. Not by reading the forums of course. Reading these posts actually damage braincells causing you to forget things. By "learning alot" I mean relearning. Kinda like a stroke victim.

[Rocket Jockey]

Thanks for the welcome, fellas. Im sure Im going to post more than once Geno. Why do you disappear so frequently?

[A Black Falcon]

Welcome, if you decide to stay! I'm Geno, age 19, and I just pop in and out. I guess you could say I'm a semi-regular. I tend to post frequently for a few months, then disappear for a few months, then post frequently again for a few months.

You do, and you shouldn't. We need all the members we can get... well, not ALL the members we can get, but more than we have anyway. :)

[lazyfatbum]

Fucking Christ a woman!

PLEASE ANSWER THESE PROMPTLY

1.) Do you bleach your anus?

2.) Double Penetration, yay or nay?

3.) How big is Cliff's shlong?

4.) Cup size?

5.) Which one best descibes your pubic hair: Runway, pitter-patter, heart, bald or jungle.

6.) I once put a coffee stirrer in my penis hole, what have you put inside your pee hole?

7.) If 6 is the average, what do you prefer? Above average or below?

(NOTE TO WOMEN: LAZYFATBUM'S PENIS IS ABOVE AVERAGE TO THE POINT OF ACTUALLY WRECKING THE GRADING CURVE AND CAUSING THE NATIONAL AVERAGE TO INCREASE BY OVER 40%)

8.) How many men have you slept with in your life?

9.) Which best describes your vagina smell and taste: Baked bread, ass and spit, melon or peppermint.

10.) Have you ever had sex with an animal? If so, what kind of animal was it? I have detailed pictures of the many uses of peanut butter when engaged in animal sex.

11.) Which best describes your nipples shape: Puffies, pencil erasers, 'Austrailian Bumpernackle', chewed bubble gum, Owl's eyes, Giza temples, silly string or nip-nips?

12.) Wgich best describes your nipples color: Pink, Red, Purple, Brown, white (non albino) dark brown, black, orange (tanned), see-through (never seen the sun), veiny or trans-gender?

13.) When you take a dump, do you let it fall or squeeze it out? Do you like holding it in or do you have to get rid of it imeadiately? How many times a week? a day? Do you hate peanuts?

14.) Some women experience an orgasm during child birth: You are a baby-raping pedophilic freak you sick fuck.

15.) I have your IP but it looks lik you live in an apartment building, am I correct? Can I visit? Do people visit your place often? Would they notice if you were gone? How long, in your opinion, do you think they would take to start looking for you if you were missing? More than a day? a week?

16.) When you get a slimey cottage cheese infection in your love hole, do you use yogurt or an over the counter cream?

17.) Soap stings the vajita, so how do you wash it? Water, special soap, douche. (if you choose douche, you are a giant bag of slut, i'd still do you)

18.) TRICK QUESTION

19.) If you could be an expensive hooker, what country would you be from?

20.) Instead of a handshake, how do you feel about a small 'thumb hump' in your butt?

21.) Do you have all your teeth? (this includes wisdom)

22.) Any record of heart disease in your family? Any bone disease? Stroke? Fill in the blank: "If my body was found dead in my own home, the investigation may find ______ history in my family as a probable cause of death."

23.) Have you ever become aroused while seeing yourself as a child?

24.) Black penis, ever did it?

25.) Is this statement true or false: Jamie attaches herself in a relationship to men best resembling a father figure.

26.) When you get drunk, does your personality change?

27.) Orgies: yay or nay?

28.) Which position is best for you to reach orgasm: Doggy, eagle, missionary, standing, cradle, sitting, rabbit ears, donkey pull, bull riding, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, angry mollusk, sir-lance-alot, Jimmy's delight, jack-knife, thorny crown, reverse throny crown, 'German Chocolate Layer Cake', 'Japanese floating octopus puzzle' or Confused Ferret?

29.) Sex in a swimming pool: yay or nay?

30.) Would you date a sex offender who is under house arrest? (if yes, can you afford plane or train fare to Florida?)

BONUS QUESTION:

All women think about having a penis, what best describes what you would do with your penis?

A.) Do men (oral, anal)
B.) Do women (oral, anal, vaginal)
C.) Masturbate (no sex)
D.) Sex is not a major factor, would have admiration for the feeling of power and ease of aiming while urinating
E.) All of the above

BONUS QUESTION 2:

What video game systems do you own?

I THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR ANSWERING THESE QUESTIONS PROMPTLY, YOU CAN POST THEM HERE OR PM ME.

Welcome to Tendo City, Jamie. :)

[CoconutCommander]

...

I think we are going to need a bigger boat

Have fun with those questions, babe. Im curious about a few of them myself.

[Great Rumbler]

Lazy is the reason most female members don't stay very long. :D

[A Black Falcon]

I was just thinking that...

[Darunia]

Lazy has been outlawed in thirty-nine states, and the others are all pending legislation.

Welcome to Tendo City.

[Rocket Jockey]

Hello Darunia, I know Cliff has mentioned the real you before. Nice to meetcha. I dont think im going to answer those questions up there. Except the answers to 21 and 26 are both yes. And the answer to number 3 is 21 and 26. lol

[Great Rumbler]

And the answer to number 3 is 21 and 26. lol

Genetic experiment gone wrong?

[Geno]

You do, and you shouldn't. We need all the members we can get... well, not ALL the members we can get, but more than we have anyway. :)

Yes indeed. I did recruit that one person way back when... that Bobcat person. But they left after about a week.

Well, I'm back, hopefully for a while now. I just need free time and I can post frequently.

[EdenMaster]

Horrors!

Amendment: Lazy is the reason almost EVERYONE doesn't stay very long. Those of us who have been here for years have kind of grown used to his ranting and insanity, but nwcomers...they can be taken aback by him and experience total synaptic failure.

[Geno]

The trick is to not take him too seriously. He just has a demented sense of humor. :D

[A Black Falcon]

Amendment: Lazy is the reason almost EVERYONE doesn't stay very long. Those of us who have been here for years have kind of grown used to his ranting and insanity, but nwcomers...they can be taken aback by him and experience total synaptic failure.

Pretty much so, yes... he was reined in during the RC days, but those days are long gone. 'Total insanity mixed with obscenities and insults' isn't exactly my favorite style, but it's not like you have to read everything everyone writes... I know I usually skim posts of Lazy's like that one.

[EdenMaster]

Skim them? Would you "skim" a great novel or fast forward through half of a terrific movie? Much like lazy's own sex life, if you don't take it all in, you miss much of it's true meaning :D.

[A Black Falcon]

He certainly puts a lot of effort into those posts, but I'm not sure how well spent that effort is... :) (not that you shouldn't try to be funny, but that Lazy, obviously, has a very weird sense of humor) :weird:

[CoconutCommander]

Lazy's humor: Laughing at a rape victims because they...fart blood.

[Great Rumbler]

I always make sure to read Lazy's posts.

[Geno]

I'm with ABF, I skim them. That doesn't mean they aren't amusing though. I just don't know how much I can take before my head explodes. :D

[EdenMaster]

I think you have to pass 4000 or so posts before lazy's posts stop being a health hazard.

[lazyfatbum]

I had no idea! I never skim any members posts or threads, I always read every post on TC, even if it's ABF's.

That's definitely a let down, I guess I shouldn't expect people to read my posts... kinda takes the wind out of my sails though.

[lazyfatbum]

CC/ Farting blood isn't funny but try this: next time you feel a fart coming on, cup your hand over your asshole as to close it off. As the fart 'erupts', open and close your hand over the hole. I made a fart say "Uh-Oh", "wah wah waaahh" (the cartoon 'oops' sound) and a duck call. It's the same principal as jazz players using a muted trumpet.

As for rape victims, nothing about that is funny; Unless it involves the Pope. Having said that, almost anything becomes funny when shown at an increased frame rate with the Benny Hill music as long as it's edited to the music. Like if the first bar ends (with the da-da, dada) and you show 4 quick clips of people vomiting edited right on que with the da-da, dada - It becomes hilarious. Why? Dunno, I think it has more to do with the idea of surprise and confusion. But regardless, farting blood isn't funny if the Pope or Elvis isn't involved... I could see how a british accent during the blood farting would be a good match, or austrailian; "Stop! I went and shat me insides out! It stings, God!" with large pools of blood spewing out of John Cleese's asshole while a group of giant swiss female opera singers rape him while singing latin would be funny. I can see that. But any other context it seems more sad than funny.

So Pope, Elvis and John Cleese. They can make blood farting funny.

[Great Rumbler]

...

...

...

I can see that.

[Geno]

Heh heh.

[Darunia]

Cocoapuffs has been here so shortly, and already he knows our LazyFatFuck so well!!

[Geno]

Note to all newbies: Darunia, despite being a vet here, does not take kindly to lazy. He can be quite hostile towards him, but lazy thrives on that. The rest of us? We're used to him. :D

[EdenMaster]

It's true, the more Darunia bashes lazy, the more lazyfatbum is...well...lazyfatbum.

[Great Rumbler]

We're used to him.

We're used to both of them actually!

[A Black Falcon]

Yes, that's a more accurate statement... :)

[Geno]

Yeah, it is. :)

[Darunia]

He thrives on it, huh? We'll see about that! I'll increase my bashing five-fold! No--ten fold! TWENTY FOLD! I'll order twenty-four hour bashing raids! He'll never know what hit him! He'll rue the day he EVER crossed paths with DARUNIA, KING OF FUCKING GORONS! :cuss:

[Weltall]

And he'll play Saria's Song on his keyboard, rendering you completely impotent.

Or Goron's Lullaby. Either way.

[Great Rumbler]

*plays Saria's Song*

[Geno]

*starts dancing uncontrollably*

This thing seems to work on puppets too. Either that or it's just a really catchy tune. :D

[dex]

IM 12 years old , i am the nephew of lazyfatbum IM A HUGE FAMILY GUY fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And i live in florida.

[Great Rumbler]

Cool!

[Geno]

Welcome to the forum! I think pretty much everybody here is a Family Guy fan, so you should feel at home here. :)

[Great Rumbler]

He's not a new member.

[dex]

yeah what Great Rumbler said

[Darunia]

I was going to say that--and now you went and wasted one of our precious Cows for nothing! They don't grow on trees, ya know!

[dex]

i wish they did grow on trees (it would be like my birthday everyday)
by the way http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

[A Black Falcon]

Like the Badger song, but with pictures of real animals... :)

[Geno]

Damn, I wasted a cow. :(

*proceeds to eat steak* ...what?