is ramble city dieing?

[alien space marine]

it seems to lack new threads just as bad internet cafe.
am willing to put up with private hudson special body parts thread.Just for some new stuff!

[Laser Link]

You are desperate.

[Great Rumbler]

They past few days have been slow, that's all.

[alien space marine]

I hope darunia will just declare war on us for our amusement.

[Private Hudson]

[alien space marine]

:D

[Darunia]

*Goron troops suddenly lead surprise attack over Goron-Tendo City border on March 12th*

*General Darunia, vowing revenge for something everyone's forgotten that happened at Tendo City years back, leads the attack with some 650,000 troops in tow*

*After 4-day siege, Goron forces accept the surrender of Debate Forum City, and occupy it.*

[Great Rumbler]

Alright! A war! *dressed up like General Patton*

March 16, right after the Goron force occupy Debate Forum City, a fleet of battle cruisers comes out of hyperspace and come into orbit around the earth.

March 16, shortly after the fleet begins orbital bombardment of the Goron force positioned in Debate Forum City.

A fleet of battleships positioned out at sea prepare to fire cruise missles at the Goron troops.

Meanwhile, the 12-18th mechanized infantry units set up a parameter around Debate Forum City to prevent a retreat by the Gorons.

General Rumbler calls for the Goron army to surrender.

[alien space marine]

starts singing jolly old hippy peace songs.
Suddenly pulls out a papper clip.
everyone jumps in fear.
then everyone laughs.
I turn the papper clip into a dart , starts flinging it at people.

Everyone dies!

The End...........

[Great Rumbler]

Great Rumbler watches from his capitol ship high above the earth as alien space marine attempts to kill people with a paper clip, then shoots the paper clip out of alien space marine's hand with pin-point accuracy.

[alien space marine]

starts flinging poop at great rumbler out of a poop flinger.
Great rumbler is knocked unconcious in a pile of 2 ton shit.

[Darunia]

*While Great Rumbler is unconscious under two tons of shit, Goron troops thank Space Marine, and attack*

*The 650,000 Goron troops at the Debate Forum uncover their previously hidden ZLX-990 Earth-to-Space nuclear missile launchers...the mere site of which drives the space cruisers under Great Rumbler's command into rout. Also, with him subdued by poo, elements of the Goron 12th and 8th fleets corner his marine navy at the Debate Bay. After a short battle, Great Rumbler's admiral relinquishes his sword; much fo the navy is captured and pressed into service under the Goron flag*

*With Debate Forum City subdued, as well as Great Rumbler's vain relief effort, Darunia detaches a small 120,000 man garrison, and with the rest of his 530,000 men, presses on to the Multi-Console forum...which is already busily digging in for a siege*

[Dark Jaguar]

Debate City doesn't have a bay... TC isn't anywhere near the sea...

Oh wait, that puddle again? Sheesh, every time it rains Darunia thinks he can deploy an armada...

[Darunia]

*A Goron patrol comes across a raving old derelict, wandering the cold, windy country road along Debate Forum Bay.*

GORON LIEUTENANT(hand on sidearm): You there, old man, identify yourself!

DARK JAGUAR: You...you're not real...! That's not a real ocean, it's a puddle! Darunia...has no army, his navy...toys...all of it....!

*Goron soldiers exchange confused faces*

*Goron troops places three 9mm casings into the old man's head, and his ravings cease in a puddle of blood. The patrol continues along, unmolested.*

[Great Rumbler]

General Rumbler: Tsk tsk, Darunia. You should know by now that you can never defeat me.

A bomb planted in Darunia's earth-to-space nuclear missle launcher explodes destroying the missle launcher.

Look-a-like decoy is still under a pile of poo.

10,000 galaxy class star cruisers come out of hyperspace near the earth and continue their bombardment of Darunia's forces.

The capitol ship of the fleet the TCS Love and Peace begins firing it's JLZ-1000 Mega-Death laser at various elements in Darunia's army.

The admiral of the navy is severly reprimanded for his hasty surrender.

The 1-20th bipedal tank units lay siege to Goron City after a surprise night raid forces all outlying units into the city.

[Dark Jaguar]

You killed a poor crazy Keebler Elf just because of some ramblings? That's not very nice! What would you mother say if I told her about that?

Sorry GR, I'm afraid that Darunia had one thing going for him when you fired so many shots. He is so very, very small. So tiny... You missed him... Me on the other hand, I'll be regenerating for a bit after that... There's the other book lung restored, that's all 5 of them, now for the internal ones... Anyway, at least you know why Darunia wants world domination. He's got that Napolean complex...

[Darunia]

*Goron Interstellar Navy leaves it's port on Mars, and zips to Earth orbit; suprising GR's navy*

*The Goron Heavy Stellar Cruiser GWS Annihilation of 120,000 tons pulls alongside the TCS Love and Peace of 10 tons guns, and accepts the captain's surrender on behalf of the entire fleet*

*Goron Interstellar Navy captures whole Great Rumbler fleet; incorporates various new ships into it's self*

*Five billion dollar bounty placed on Great Rumbler's head, dead or alive*

Napoleon complex...? Oh; you mean when great men want to conquer vastly inferior ones...yea, I've got that.

[Great Rumbler]

Heh heh, I think you have that wrong. Napolean Complex: When someone with an inferiority complex tries to conquer other people.

Now back to the battle.

The *ships* that Darunia *captured* turn out to be nothing but complex 3D holograms created using images and shields to give it the look and feel of a real space ship. The ships dissapear and all of the troops Darunia transfered to them are left floating in space. Needless to say, they suffocate. Too bad.

The real fleet which had been using the dark side of the moon to hide aproach Darunia's now confused fleet. They are utterly destroyed using anti-matter missles and uranium-powered lasers.

I'd just like to point out a technical error on Darunia's account. The TCS Love and Peace is NOT a 10 ton vessel.

Technical specs of the TCS Love and Peace:

Weight: 275,000 tons
Length: 2 miles
Height: 2500 feet
Width: 3000 feet
Speed: .8 the speed of light
Armor: 12 inches of titanium reinforced class 13 battle armor
Shield: 4 class 14 cold fusion shield batteries:
Propulsion: 3 phase transition engines
Weapons: 45 uranium laser batteries, 20 anti-matter missle launchers
Special: The front part of the TCS Love and Peace opens to reveal a powerful superlaser with enough firepower to penetrate a ship with class 11 shielding capabilities and class 9 battle armor.

When I make war, I go all out.

[Darunia]

*Then, the TCS Love and Peace leads the Great Rumbler fleet around the dark side of the moon...only to realize that it's no moon---IT'S A SPACE STATION*

*Too late to react, they suddenly realize, to their horror, that they're right where Darunia wants them--within the range of the Goron Star's superlaser! Almost instantly, a greet ray is shot out (capable of penetrating class 920,000 shielding and 1,282,000 armor), instantly imploding the Love and Peace.*

*GREAT RUMBLER'S REAR ADMIRAL, ABOARD THE TCS Buttfuck : My God, we've underestimated that superb master of all men, Darunia! Now it's led to our damnation...we must surrender at once*

*As the TCS Buttfuck tries to signal surrender, it's sister ships are haplessly destroyed left and right like bubbles floating out of a bubble bath*

*Darunia accepts unconditional surrender of the Great Rumbler Armada.*

[alien space marine]

Aliens from mars begin to send hypnotic sounds to GR fleet. They all belive there gorons troops and thuss in fighting insues.
ASM flushes all the toilets on his ship and a massive ball of poop flies into the space station blocking their radar guidence system.

[Great Rumbler]

Originally posted by Darunia
(capable of penetrating class 920,000 shielding and 1,282,000 armor), instantly imploding the Love and Peace.*

Now that's just silly. According to Mizles Law green lasers, no matter how powerful they are, are only capable of penetrating class 6 medium armor or class 2 shielding. It's a scientific fact.

As for everything else in your records of event I can only speculate that they are the insane ramblings of man deep in a drug-induced madness.

[Darunia]

Well, according to Jane's Modern Fighting Spaceships, the TCS Love and Peace is, and I quote, "delapidated garbage scow, pieced together back in 1964 from several scrapped Italian scooters and a quarter ton of Czechoslovakian-supplied screen doors. The defensive mechanisms are undemanding, and all in all, it lacks any form of grace or sophistication. Sixty of these were made, and all are incorporated into the Great Rumbler navy."

*Goron troops surround and begind siege of Multi Console Forum. Within hours, the Gorn 36" howitzers blast and pummel their fortified walls in dust*

[Great Rumbler]

Jane's Modern Fighting Spaceships?! You mean people actually read that still?

According to the CIA's personal files Darunia is, and I quote: "a mis-guided ego maniac, who, under certain conditions, has been known to wage wars, which he has little hope of winning, over very trivial matter. He is also been known to inhale volatile substances and while under the influences of said substances go into an insane state where he rambles on about his military
"victories". He is considered to be of minimal threat only to small third world countries.

[alien space marine]

unleashes god powers apon everyone!

Now play nice or die!

[Darunia]

*Goron troops abandon siege of Multi Forum City; next day sign one-sided peace with Tendo City Nation. Large indemnity paid to Gorons, who in turn withdraw their troops and restore TC sovereignty*

*The next day, Goron Imperial Senate declares formal state of war on Great Rumbler instead of Tendo City*

[Great Rumbler]

Hmm...I thought we were already at war. Oh well. ^_^

Great Rumbler hires ninja-pirate assassins to find Darunia and eliminate him.

[Darunia]

*Ninja-pirate assasins captured; are promptly offered twice as much to go back and kill GR*

*Ninja pirate assassins resign careers and become interior decorators en route*

*Gorons deliver 550-page ultimatum to GR; cede Schleswig-Holstein immediately and apologize for crimes against Goron empire by 12 midnight tonight or face your annihiliation*

*Darunia (uncaring whether or not demands are met) mobilizes and rides to the front*

[Great Rumbler]

Great Rumbler flips through the ultimatum highlighting various grammer and spelling errors, all the while snickering at Darunia's pathetic attempt to write as well as wage war. Great Rumbler throws the ultimatum into the fire and enjoys the heat it generates.

Great Rumbler then activates the impenetrable-shield generators buried deep under ground in equally impenetrable bunkers.

Great Rumbler goes to sleep.

[Darunia]

GORON COMMANDANT: He claims that we have no military force, and are not a threat...and he discards our ultimatum, yet he cowardly hides in a secure bunker.

DARUNIA: His time is up! (Shakes balled fist) He will soon learn respect! Commence with Plan 75!

*Goron Air Force drops MOAB (Mother Of All Beavers) over Great Rumbler's underground bunker. MOAB used nuclear buck teeth to cut down all the trees in the area, and begins borrowing through solid concrete and steel...upon penetrating the shocked GR, MOAB detonates with the power of 6,000 megatons*

[Great Rumbler]

Dude, how you can your beaver thing get to my shield generators if it hasn't even gone through the impenetrable shield that surrounds the entire land?

[Darunia]

Oh, didn't I tell you---? He's a NUCLEAR BEAVER---they emit a shield-distorting aura of green energy which allows them to pass through all forms of shielding unhindered.

Checkmate.

[Great Rumbler]

Green energy? Pathetic. Red energy is the way to go.

Besides, when I said impenetrable, I didn't mean impenetrable except for nuclear beavers [which is stupid anyway, nuclear snakes are way better], I meant impenetrable including to nuclear beaver attack.

[Darunia]

Red energy is more expensive and has never conclusively been proven superior.

Nuclear snakes are all union.

And my nuclear beaver doesn't care whether or not you meant for you shield to be impenetrable to him or not; he busted your bunker wide open.

I will accept your surrender...NOW!

[Great Rumbler]

I'm not sure what YOU were looking at but what I see several miles in the distance is an extremely angry nuclear beaver beating futiley at my full on, nothing coming through, in no way penetrable impenetrable shield!!

[Darunia]

*Nuclear beaver dressed up as Pizza Hut delivery man; rings front doorbell of GR's underground bunker, chuckling ferociously.*

GREAT RUMBLER (through slot in door): Who is it?

NUCLEAR BEAVER (with cute animal voice): Pizza Hut!

GREAT RUMBLER: I didn't order a pizza!

NUCLEAR BEAVER: It's on the house!

*Great Rumbler licks his lips and opens the door; only to be awestruck when the 17-inch-tall, green-glowing pizza man is none other than Nuclear Beaver! Nuclear Beaver rushes past him, and detonates deep within fallout shelter*

*Great Rumbler sues for peace, having narrowly survived*

[Great Rumbler]

Come on, there's no way I'd do something that stupid. Besides I'm not LIVING in the underground bunker. The shield generators are in the underground bunker projecting a shield which protects Tendocity and that's where I'm living. Tendocity has like 20 pizza places and I have more than enough money in my numbered Swiss bank accounts [and in my matress] to buy a great many pizzas.

Great Rumbler signals an army of nuclear snakes via a very suspicious weather sattelite. The nuclear snakes chase the nuclear beaver away.

[Darunia]

*A crack unit of Goron commandos lands in the forested area surrounding GR' shield generator*

GORON COMMANDO: Alright, hurry, the fleet will be here any moment!

*Goron commandos proceed to quietly infiltrated the base, kill all it's personnel, and plant sequencer chargers*

*The shield generator erupts in an enormous ball of fire. As the protective energy barrier tumbles, the Gron 12th Interstellar Navy drops out of hyperspace...*

*After the massacre of his forces, GR surrenders*

--END GORON-GREAT RUMBLER WAR*

[Great Rumbler]

How cliche.

Note: Darunia's forces STILL haven't penetrated my impentrable shields.

[Darunia]

*Without penetrating GR's shields, Goron Corps of Engineers digs out ground all around the circumference of the shield. Once done, they encase the shielded area within a shell of air-tight titanium, and cast it off to the depths of the universe*

[Great Rumbler]

As Darunia stumbles about attempting to dig a decent hole a suspicious weather satelites begins moving directly above his postition. A laser beam is shot from the satelite. The laser beam hits Darunia. Darunia is now dead. The world rejoices. All Darunia merchandise is now %50 off.

[Darunia]

*Then Great Rumbler wakes up, and realizing that he is indeed lost in space, inside his shielded titanium dome*

~The End.

[Great Rumbler]

Then Darunia awakens to find that he is in fact a delusional moron who, 10 hours past, drank more bourbon than was healthy for him.

~ El Fin

[Darunia]

*But then Great Rumbler looks into the mirror*

*Sodomy ensues*

'End!

[Great Rumbler]

My ending was better, because it was totally unexpected...wait...no it wasn't! :D

[Darunia]

*Darunia delivers ultimatum to GR: Apologize for that within 48 hous or Goron Imperial forces shall attack at a time of our choosing.*

[Great Rumbler]

:stupid:

[Darunia]

...err...we'll accept that as your...admission to apologizing...

*War averted; Gorons make rare prelude to peace by sending GR a fruit basket*

[Great Rumbler]

Fruit? What am I supposed to do with all this fruit? I just bought some fruit last week! I sure hope you didn't sign me up for any fruit of the month club or anything like that....What am I going to do with all this fruit?!

[Darunia]

The fruit is plastic.

It's a decoration. Just put it on your damn table and smile.

[Great Rumbler]

It's plastic?! My table already has plastic fruit on it!! And flowers!! Now I have to find somewhere to put all this plastic fruit! AAARRRGGGHHH!!