OH COME ON NOW!

[Darunia]

This just isn't right! Those poor men and women are already doing so much for us, and this is their reward!?

Depriving the troops of...

This is an injustice. Let the boys have something to look forward to!

[alien space marine]

They should compensate the soldiers by providing them with strippers and porn...

[Darunia]

My cousin is in Afghanistan. Some of you may remember him from his very brief stint posting under the name Volvagia... I'm not sure if it was here, or back in the DF days.

[alien space marine]

My cousin is in Afghanistan. Some of you may remember him from his very brief stint posting under the name Volvagia... I'm not sure if it was here, or back in the DF days.

He was your cousin!!!! That explains allot of things....

His screen name sounded like one of those drugs old men take when they can't pop wood.

Did he kill any Hajjis ?

[Darunia]

Volvagia is the name I came up with for him. It's the name of the Fire Temple boss in OoT.

[Geno]

^Wouldn't that make him your arch-nemesis?

[Weltall]

Volvagia eats Gorons and shits gravel.

[Geno]

Yeah, the only reason you're not fossilized dragon manure now is because of that whole "Sage of Fire" nonsense!

[Darunia]

Haha... you guys are mooks. He doesn't really eat Gorons. That's just the role he played for that videogame. The real Volvagia owns a delicatessen in Topeka, Kansas. His name is Bill Vagia, and he has six kids.

[alien space marine]

Volvagia is the name I came up with for him. It's the name of the Fire Temple boss in OoT.

I never played any of the Zelda games , So Its fictional lore is unknown to me.



It's name sounds awfully close to vulva/Vagina and a certain Swedish car maker, I wonder what the game makers were thinking when they came up with that name?

I certainly will invoke the vagina dragon's name the next time Darunia declares a imaginary war on me.

[Darunia]

BLASPHEMY!

*Declares formal state of war on ASM*

*Mobilizes 8th Goron Army, bivouacing outside of TC*

DARUNIA: DESTROY THIS NAIF WAIF!

[alien space marine]

BLASPHEMY!

*Declares formal state of war on ASM*

*Mobilizes 8th Goron Army, bivouacing outside of TC*

DARUNIA: DESTROY THIS NAIF WAIF!

Summons Volvagia, Who devours the 8th army and after a period of digestion poops out shit demons.

[A Black Falcon]

Sorry ASM, Volvagia may be the enemy of Gorons, but against someone who hasn't even played a Zelda game, I don't think it'd be on your side... :)

[Darunia]

Check.


Mate.

[Sacred Jellybean]

Orange Julius

MONSTERS!

[alien space marine]

Check.


Mate.

The game has no rules or set parameter's

but you won a Pyrrhic victory

[Unreadphilosophy]

Here's an idea: why don't we send Darunia down there? He already looks like the BK King. Just give him some burgers, and the troops are set!

[Darunia]

A Pyrrhic victory? Are you implying that this is hollow and purely symbolic? Nonsense. Blare the trumpets and parade the troops, this is the greatest Goron victory since the Russo-Goron War of 1792.

Unread--the BK King is one of my agents. He and I are two different entities.

[alien space marine]

A Pyrrhic victory? Are you implying that this is hollow and purely symbolic? Nonsense. Blare the trumpets and parade the troops, this is the greatest Goron victory since the Russo-Goron War of 1792.

Orders the aliens from planet Piñacolada to Launch a full scale orbital bombardment of the goron kingdom.

Darunia is killed along with his minions, The Piñacoladan clean up crew collects the dead Goron corpses and then reprocesses them as hamburger patties to be sold to McDonald's.

[Geno]

The BK King is being processed into McDonald's meat? How ironic.