!DARUNIA'S NO-HOLDS-BARRED FAST FOOD BRAWL!

[Darunia]

Hee-haaw!!

*Grabs a folding chair and slams
it down over Coconut Commander's back!*


1. Taco Bell, forever, is #1 amongst fast food. It is not only by far the best tasting, but it's also economical: and for a penny-pinching college student to say that gives it a lot of clout.

2. Burger King... has the best burgers, comparable prices, a superior dollar menu, and all-around better food than McDonalds. Not to mention that its mascot is, by far, the coolest commercial character ever, hands down.

3. KFC: a bit pricey, but sooo good... where else can you get cole slaw, mashed potatoes and fried chicken in under four minutes?

4. Quiznos is the reigning champion of sub shops. Their zombie hamster commercials are hilarious, and while a bit pricey, their grinders are nigh untouchable by the competition.

5. Wendy's has a viable dollar menu, plus baked potatoes, chili, and decent chicken yummies... but mediocre hamburgers and average prices.

6. Subways are a dime a dozen in Massachusetts. Jared Fogle is not only the most annoying spokesman, he's also the gayest... he makes me not want to ever buy Subway again. Beyond that, their modestly-crafted subs run from expensive to ludicrously expensive.

7. McDonalds is just all around poor in quality. Their one boon was that they used to be cheap, but nowadays you can't get a real meal for less than $5 anymore. It's supposed to be FAST and CHEAP! What's the fucking deal, McDonalds!? By the way, their new commercials: GAY. As in (see SUBWAY.)

8. Papa Gino's... sucks. There I said it.

[N-Man]

We have no Taco Bells in Quebec. I wonder why.

[A Black Falcon]

1. Taco Bell... agreed, especially about the price part. Under $2 for a decent lunch? Nice! :) And it tastes pretty good too...
2. Subway - because their food is good, even if it does cost more...

I haven't eaten at a McDonalds/Wendy's/Burger King in years... I don't eat beef, and don't really like the places, but if I had to choose one I guess I'd pick Burger King. For no good reason.

Quizno's? Never been there. Don't know of any around here...

KFC... I don't like KFC. I don't like fried chicken you see... so I don't like KFC. :)

Papa Gino's? That's a pizza chain, I don't know if I'd call pizza fast so I'm not sure that it counts...

We have no Taco Bells in Quebec. I wonder why.

Most chains don't cover every single place... a few come close, but most have focus areas or coverage gaps, even if they are more than just a local chain...

[Great Rumbler]

McDonalds: There breakfast foods are AWESOME.

Quizno's: Chicken Milano sub. If you've ever eaten it you know what I'm talking about. Insanely expensive.

Braum's: Some of the best hamburger meat you can get and ice cream! It's a bit more expensive than other places though.

[CoconutCommander]

*punches Darunia in the stomach, while Darunia is gasping for air, grabs his/her tongue and rips it out* "enjoy your crappy fast food gorditas now!"

1. Taco Bell - I HATE nothing more than Taco Bell. Do you know why it is so cheap? Because no one in their right mind would buy the stuff if it weren't next to free. Taco Bells are always the seediest restaraunts around, too. Granted, most fast food joints are in ruddy condition, Taco Bell takes the cake though. Their food is horrible, I cant stand all the spices and other junk they use to mask their inferior beefs and chickens. Also, everything is so hard to eat without dumping half the meal on your lap.

2. Wendy's - Has everything. Except a breakfast menu, but I don't know why you'd get breakfast anywhere other than D&D. Wendy's is the most perfect place in the world. Look for a Wendy's in heaven now that Dave Thomas is dead. The spicy chicken sandwiches are sssoooo sssoooo good. They are so juicy and I never bite into a chunk of rubbery elastichicken that you have to saw with your teeth like I do at McDonalds or Burger King. Big Bacon Classic is great too. So filling. So savory. The dollar menu was the greatest invention. They shifted half their regular menu over to it, perfect. Now they are letting you swap sides when you order combo meals... *smiles* "Wendy's doesn't cut corners."

3. Dunkin Donuts - Breakfast anytime. Awesome. Coolatas. Awesome. Doughnuts that blow Krispy Kreme out of the water. Awesome. Coffee that puts Starbucks to shame. Awesome. Just all around awesome.

4. Firehouse Subs - For a sub joint I have to go with Firehouse Subs. I know you guys don't have them up north and it isn't fair that I mention them because I know you guys really can't comment on them that well. But they can't be denied. Ask Darunia, I know he/she has had some before. Best quality sub money can buy. There really isn't anything that can describe Firehouse better than quality. www.firehousesubs.com/

5. All pizza chains suck. You have to go to local franchises to get anything good.

6. KFC - Special mention. Good food that costs alot. That should be their motto.

[lazyfatbum]

Firehouse is total ass. I'd rather help my father masturbate than eat a Firehouse sub.

The best fast food is bringing food home from an organic store and cooking it yourself really fast. If you start to miss fast food, you can spit in your own food and throw in some rat feces. Atleast then it's YOUR spit and YOUR rat feces.

Seriously though the amount of drugs and bi-products they put in those foods to make you subconsciously want their particular food because of a physical or mental addiction through unnatural additives is enough to make anyone with an IQ higher than that of mayonaise to stay the fuck away from fast food.

Having said all that you can shove me full of Burger King 'grilled chicken (Mayonaise)' Whoppers, McDonald's Hashbrowns and Egg McMuffins, Taco Bell Burrito Supremes, Checker's (AM/PM's) Seasoned Fries and In&out's grizzly carpathian bovine murder on thin greasy bread with obese sauce. 'An Elephantine Vomit Inducing Delight for all ages! Have 2 or 3 a day, you're gonna die anyway!'

[CoconutCommander]

How do you have almost 2 million posts?

[Great Rumbler]

Actually he has almost 2 BILLION.

[Weltall]

It's magic.

~ I have never once in my life eaten at a Taco Bell. I don't like Mexican food.

~Wendys is awful. The fries are always soggy and the burgers taste like cardboard.

~McDonalds is good because I've always loved the chicken nuggets. The burgers are asstastic though.

~Burger King has better fries but I don't like Chicken Tenders or their burgers.

~Sheetz... probably my favorite fast food. They're expensive, but you get a lot for what you pay for, the food is excellent, and I like ordering on a computer, piece by piece. They've never messed an order up.

~Bullets... Overpriced, but the burgers are fantastic and the fries are very good too. No indoor dining areas though, which reduces their appeal for me at times, like when it's cold.

[The Former DMiller]

The only fast food places I eat at regularly are sub places. I think Quizno's is the best, but not because they have the best subs. I think Potbelly's has the best subs, but the subs are way too small to be filling. Subway is horrible, but I'll eat there if forced to. I also eat at Portillo's a lot, but I don't think they have any of them outside the Chicago area so you guys probably don't know about the great food they have there.

[Darunia]

Potbelly's? Potillo's? Bullet's? Sheetz? Braums?

Haha, you guys! Those aren't real places! If I haven't heard of them, they can't exist! Silly guys!

On a ranking of 0 to 10, zero being lowest and ten being highest, as far as a fastfood chain goes, Dunkin' Donuts ranks somewhere just above -36,370. It's not "breakfast anytime". It's crunchy donuts anytime. Sucks. Coolatas. Suck. Their coffee. Sucks. Just all around sucks.

Firehouse Subs are indeed very delicious, but I declined to add them onto my list because they only have five or so locations, and all south of the Mason-Dixie line, thus they are not a viable fast food chain.

[N-Man]

While we're on the topic of obscure fast food joints, I'll say that while we don't have Taco Bell we do have several homegrown chains such as Lafleur, La Belle Province and Valentine. They compete on an equal footing with the American giants, however their main fare is in all cases hot dogs rather than hamburgers. Their staples are the Michigans (hot dogs slathered with meat sauce) and the freshly-chopped fries. The latter are disgustingly greasy and are excellent for making poutine. Try it if you come by (not for the weak of heart).

[Darunia]

Note to self: Never eat there.

[CoconutCommander]

I do not understand how anyone cannot like Dunkin Donuts. Darunia, I want you to try going to D&D again, but this time before you go, cleanse your palatte of the cock aftertaste. I think that's what is wrecking it for you.

[CoconutCommander]

Comment about Taco Bell: Their beef looks and tastes like a bum strained his diareahtic shit through his own sweaty moth ridden underwear. The reason it smells so bad is because the bum probably had a virus or something.

[A Black Falcon]

Dunkin Donuts makes good donuts.

That sub chain in Massachusetts that's paired with Papa Gino's in the highway rest stop food courts (can't remember the name... the one that starts with D. :)) isn't very good. And their selection is lacking too...

Poutine: Ick...

Comment about Taco Bell: Their beef looks and tastes like a bum strained his diareahtic shit through his own sweaty moth ridden underwear. The reason it smells so bad is because the bum probably had a virus or something.

At Taco Bell I get either bean burritos or one of the chicken dishes (chicken quesadilla as my favorite). Those I like. :)

[Great Rumbler]

I always get chicken when I eat at Taco Bell, but really Taco Bueno is far superior.

[Darunia]

ABF, I think you're referring to D'angelos! David Ortiz is their new sponsor, but even now, I don't want anything to do with them. What my friend CommandoCocoapuffs is confused about is that Dunkin Donuts isn't a fast food place. It's a two-bit donuts-and-coffee shop. They don't have anything that qualifies as "food" there. Even if, in some warped episode of the Twilight Zone they were to be called fast food, theres is located somewhere in the sub-basement of the 72-story high rise of fast food venues.

[A Black Falcon]

Yes, D'Angelo's. Not exactly one of the better sub chains around...

Dunkin Donuts? Donuts are food... :)

[Darunia]

*Gorons troops burst into the room, clad in black riot armor and armed with MP40s. They round up all of the donuts in the room, and burn them in a huge bonfire of sugary evil.*

They 'isn't food no more, is they! Bwaha!

[CoconutCommander]

*Stumbles backwards as the brunt of Dar Dar Binks's ignorance slams into him with suprising force."

Breakfast sandwiches are food. Bagels are food. Crossiants are food (Im not siding with the french). Muffins are food.

[Darunia]

No, they're snacks. Are chains of lemonaid stands fast food conglomerates if they sell PB&J sandwiches? And neither is Dunkies for selling pastries.

[CoconutCommander]

According to Dictionary.com

fast food n. Inexpensive food, such as hamburgers and fried chicken, prepared and served quickly

As far as I know, bacon egg and cheese on a bagel has to be prepared, and everytime I have ordered one, Ive recieved it in a timely manner.

[Geno]

Taco Bell's new Cheesy Gordita Crunch pwnz all the fast food competition. Taco Bell's definitely a winner.

Most places don't have Chick-Fil-A, but those that do know how much it rocks.

Wendy's is pretty good. Dairy Queen is also good. KFC is the ultimate in fried chicken.

I don't care for Burger King or McDonald's. That doesn't mean I don't like burgers. The best burgers come from Flip's and Backyard Burger. Hardee's also has surprisingly good burgers. (It used to be that only their breakfast items were any good)

[Great Rumbler]

Most places don't have Chick-Fil-A, but those that do know how much it rocks.

True that.

[lazyfatbum]

It should be noted that Taco Bell (and other fast food places) uses a grade of meat that is not accepted by prisons in the United States and is used in various dog foods. If you can get over that the food tastes awesome. But it's not real food, it's a collection of flavor additives and dye mixed with organic compounds that looks and tastes like food. The only 'actual food' you'll ever find in a Taco Bell is the lettuce, tomatoes and onions. But even they are cross-bred cheaply manufactured mutations that are not suitable for sell in grocery stores.

If you're interested, take some samples of Taco Bell food or any fast food to a local lab (you can find them in the phone book) and they might charge you 25/50 bucks but they'll analyze the food for you and tell you what's in it. You'll never eat at Taco Bell again. the same can be said for any fast food place. However In and Out wins time and again for having real food that is feshly prepared. To quote 'Super Size Me'~ "In and Out is the only fast food restaurant you'll find actual potatoes in."

There's a reason a McDonald's french fries never rot, change color or oder or lose any taste even after weeks, months, even years. They cant collect mold either and most insects will not eat them. Even the ketchup you get at McDonald's is actually a pure sugar concentrate syrup with 'ketchup flavor' added. There isn't a single bit of any tomatoes in the ketchup. Though some McDonald's have 'Heinz' ketchup packets, so grab those when you can.

The Hamburgers are actually a press of liqued animal proteins and fat that is collected by thousands of cows at a time that are churned in a vat and boiled, some studies even found McDonald's hamburger meat to contain 'meat of unknown origins' that is closely related to the proteins found in earthworms. The process involves using cows that are sick, old, physically or mentally retarded or suffering from a genetic disorder that are killed at a massive ratio and put in to a boiler. The bodies recieve a quick rinse, otherwise hair, teeth and all go to the next step to the vat. They add cow after cow until it's full (literaly containing thousands of cows or cow 'pieces') and boiled down in to a liqued. As you can guess, this liqued looks nothing like meat. They add hundreds of chemicals to the mixture some of them causing the liqued to stiffen up sorta like jello. In the mixture of chemicals, there are reactive substances: instead of spending money on 'flavorizing' they use the chemical reaction to generate the 'McDonald's taste' They finally add the dies to give the substance the color of meat.

They then put the jelly-like substance in to a mold. These molds are made to look like hamburger patties, they have bumps and ridges to give the illusion of what we know to be hamburger meat cubes of fat are added to the molds to give a more convincing look. It is then flash forzen and sent to the franchises world wide. It should be known, when you order a hamburger from McDonald's, the hamburger you are eating was made around one year ago and kept in a freezer at the plant, during it's drive and then at the actual store you ordered it from. Typically, from the moment a McDonald's recieves a shipment of meat to the point where you eat one, is around 2-4 months. We all know that freezing can preserve food longer, however a McDonald's 'hamburger' can stay frozen until the end of time and never go bad this is because, simply put, a McDonald's hamburger is not actual food, but a combination of chemicals to resemble food.

ALL fast food reatraunts adopt this way of business, it is the only to be productive in a world wide food franchise market.

But the king of disgusting food is taco bell. next time you get anything from taco bell using the 'beef' name, look at the meat in the taco or burrito. Ask yourself what those tiny balls are... it's certainly not from a cow.

[cppcrusader]

First of all Firehouse kicks the living shit out of Quizno's. In fact, Firehouse is the Crippler Crossface of subs and makes all others tap out in 25.5 seconds.

Chick-fil-a is the king of fast food, second only to Elijiah's.

One interseting tidbit I'll share with you is this. The closest thing to a fast food joint in Beverly Hills is Johnny Rockets.

Oh yeah, and lazy, stop acting like you don't like Firehouse. I know you love the taste of a large meaty sub.

[Great Rumbler]

I, for one, happen to like the taste of McDonalds burgers.

[Darunia]

McDonalds sucks, sorry GR.

CPP Crusader, where have you have Firehouse subs before?

[cppcrusader]

Winterpark/Orlando, FL. My brother moved back north recently and he's getting the shakes for Firehouse.

[Darunia]

Yea, while visiting CommodorCocoapuffs in Georgia, we had Firehouse at Martineze, Ga. I had the chicken one... good food, original atmosphere... and they come with a whole dill pickle, too! You can't beat that!

[A Black Falcon]

I don't eat beef. :)

[Great Rumbler]

I eat beef all the time.

Beef = A meaty treat for the kiddies.

[CoconutCommander]

To quote 'Super Size Me'~ "In and Out is the only fast food restaurant you'll find actual potatoes in."

I was skeptical about this quote being true or not, so I went down to Wendy's and I was right...Wendy's has a fucking potato on their menu, by itself. You can order a potato at Wendy's. I ordered it, too, just to see if it was a potato. It was.

Being that your reference was erroneous leads me to believe your entire report was founded on unfactual material. Sorry, lazy, I am forced to ignore your wild claims.

Seth Green hates Firehouse Subs, too.

[Great Rumbler]

Chick-Fil-A's waffle fries are awesome, I don't care who you are.

[Darunia]

Not only does Wendy's have baked potatoes, but they make 'em good, too. It's a mildly healthy 99-cent snack alternative to be sure.

[Geno]

First of all Firehouse kicks the living shit out of Quizno's. In fact, Firehouse is the Crippler Crossface of subs and makes all others tap out in 25.5 seconds.

Oh yeah, I forgot about Firehouse. I only ate there once, but it was great.

[Weltall]

Chick-Fil-A is indeed very good.