I'm making a book about great sayings.

[OB1]

Here is what I've come up with so far:

The Greatest Sayings Never Told

By Daniel Coleman


1. As they say in Mexico, you never know what kind of cheese will come out of your Sombrero.

2. A wise man once said that you're never going to get anywhere until you buy the boots.

3. There's a saying in Georgia that goes something like 'Don't buy too many horses if you don't want bees in your crosses'.

4. Life is like a box of fecal matter: you never know how bad it's going to taste.

5. There are two ways to cross a mountain bridge: from one side or the other.

6. As the saying goes, find a nickel and you've found some money.

7. A wise man once said that whenever you see a duck flying in the air, it's probably not going to turn into a turtle.

8. If you have a bottle of wine, make sure you have a glass to drink it with.

9. Forty-five killer bees equals forty-five dead things.

10. Never go to Kentucky for a picnic; trucks will never git ya.

[Great Rumbler]

I've got a few you can add:

1. Never criss when you should cross.

2. One dollar is 100 cents.

3. A penny saved is worhless, because there's nothing you can buy with it.

4. If you ever dream about being a duck you should probably never skydive with a badger.

5. A wise man once said "Don't pick at it, you'll just make it bleed."

6. Anything that costs only a dollar probably isn't worth buying.

[Great Rumbler]

I thought of some more.

1. It's all fun and games after someone loses and eye.

2. He who laughs last is slow of mind.

[OB1]

Haha, those are great. I got some more as well:

1. As they say in Alabama, don't get cut with a piece of paper that is full of herpes.

2. A wise man once said that the only way the sun rises is when the birds from the east meet the place.

3. Never get your water crossed if you plan on robbing a soup kitchen.

[OB1]

1. A pillbox is like a candle that lost its virginity.

2. You can't cross a man with red suspenders.

3. Always watch your watch if you want to know the time.

[Weltall]

What can wait five minutes can be put off for five years.

When life gives you lemons, donate them to charity food drives.

A picture is worth a thousand words, except in Canada where it is only worth about 660.

Early to bed and early to rise leaves a man healthy but lacking social ties.

The early bird gets the worm, but who the hell wants to eat worms?

A dyslexic atheist doesn't believe in dog.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, if it doesn't cripple you first.

If something seems too good to be true, it probably means there naked woman in bed with you but when you sober up you will realize she is your grandmother.

If you don't love Allah, you can go eat Shiite.

[Great Rumbler]

Hahaha, those are pretty good!

1. When in doubt go with the mystery box.

2. If it's not broke fix it anyway.

3. If you throw enough money at something it will eventually succeed.

4. If necessity is the mother of invention then greed is the crazy uncle.

5. A wise man once said that those who are lazy are often those who often miss out on free bingo night.

[Laser Link]

All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

Poets have been curiously quiet on the subject of cheese.

From Animaniacs and inspired by Weltall: Early to rise and early to be makes a man healthy, but socially dead.

By the way, if you want to find some strange and funny phrases, read font sites. They always have something random to demo the font with, and a lot of the sayings are great.

[Dark Jaguar]

If you want to get rid of a room mate, start smoking... ball point pens.

Nothing says lovin' like a good old fashioned cinnamon roll.

Benduuuuu: Don't ask for whom the bone bones. It bones for thee.

The cartographer, when asked at length why his maps led to the deaths of countless expedition troupes, could only respond "My maps are intended as a triumph of entertainment over geography. Don't take them so seriously.".

Copyright data for the game "Kindom O' Magic" (with upcoming sequel entitled "Never say Kingdom O'gain", though that sequel announcement was most assuredly a joke, like History of the World part 2):

First published in 1876 under the title "101 Fun Things To Do With Trolls".
This edition specially calibrated for short people with red hair.
Printed on recycled Windows 95 registration cards by The Press Of The Elven King, 57 Woodland Walk, De-Lorean, KOM 90210: "Inexpensive business stationary a speciality! Call 1-800-SMUDGE and ask for Steve."
Not for resale in countries that begin with the letter "R"
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, telepathy or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publishers, in triplicate, signed in goat's blood, and quoting the special secret password which this week is "nostril".
By reading this, you are deemed to understand, and agree to abide by, the terms of International copyright law. Failure to comply with these terms is punishable by death.

Publisher's note: The movie rights to this fine product are still available, Mr. Spielburg.

(DJ's note: Jackson would be funnier. They should have used that, even though they couldn't have known at the time that's no excuse! Just get a time machine!)

[alien space marine]

Counting sheep wont help you sleep.

[OB1]

*claps for asm's entry*

[alien space marine]

:D

[Great Rumbler]

with upcoming sequel entitled "Never say Kingdom O'gain", though that sequel announcement was most assuredly a joke, like History of the World part 2

The Lord willing, we'll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money!

[A Black Falcon]

Yeah, that'd be cool...