so i met a psychic

[lazyfatbum]

While I was knife throwing on st Party's day at someone's house on something street I saw a crip named soldierboy and I told him I'm lazyfatbum and he showed me his *gun tattoo* then a psychic appeared and told me my birthday, favorite composer, what Instruments I play, that I was born in LA and that "someone I miss dearly had looked for me". Then he told me he rolls his own sushi and goes sledding - even visited Africa and Nanten or something ...Malaysian sounding. He owns a bulldog and collects furniture, he thinks I'm a pisces cusp that only happens once every THOUSAND YEARS. I was drunk and I have no proof that this happened.

Thank you.

[lazyfatbum]

Ps. I moved to Los Angeles and I'm learning Mexican because if I don't I will starve to death. Is anyone in LA? I have nacho combos and a 3 liter of 'diet mountain rain!'

[Dark Jaguar]

Well that was an interesting... sequence...

He thinks pisces only happen once in a thousand years? Huh... I wasn't aware that there was some period 9 months earlier in the year where NO ONE has sex. Somehow I think that if the statistics backed that up, there's be some pretty striking info about it.

As for the rest, I could say something like you may have misremembered due to being drunk and/or tired and/or that tends to be the human condition to begin with. I could say maybe that guy figured it out by talking to other people at the party. I could point out that the part about "Someone needs your help, find this person, fast" is generic enough to apply to pretty much everyone. I COULD do all that, but instead I'll just say I really don't know how he did that or how accurate the story is, but if my choice is "it's probably explained by something mundane" or "last night at a party someone completely changed our knowledge of the laws of physics", I know what I'm putting my money on.

LA? Isn't that the place they dump Star Trek guys when they want to make a joke about standing out less by wearing their uniforms? Kill whoever's responsible for those new-agey McDonald's happy meal commercials lately. I know that person is from there. Mountain Ram? That uh.... that sounds aweful. Taste the cloven hoof!

[A Black Falcon]

So which is better, LA or Florida?

[etoven]

LA.. Hmmm.. Well I suggest you lubricate your ass hole.. That way it won't hurt quite as much when Fat Tony porks you in the butt hole near the dumpster behind the Taco Beana because he had to wait more then 3 seconds in line.

[lazyfatbum]

2 steps ahead of you Toven. I learned how to make my own tacos and Italians hate Mexicans. Done and done.

DJ thank you. It actually did happen and apparently the crips are in the upper-middle class areas because the ghettos are SOooo 90's. The someone missing me must be Ryan but when I text him he ignores me because he spends all his free time thinking of elf clothing or diagrams of a horse-spider's gate and other things of or relating to gay.

[Weltall]

Everything is true.

But, like, I don't have text messaging on my phone, so every time you try to send me one, it goes to a place where only Hoptimus Prime, the giant pink god of all other moon-eating rabbits with nose lasers, can read them and pity you.

[etoven]

Everything is true.

But, like, I don't have text messaging on my phone, so every time you try to send me one, it goes to a place where only Hoptimus Prime, the giant pink god of all other moon-eating rabbits with nose lasers, can read them and pity you.

Floid County?

[lazyfatbum]

Holy fuck me. Is that an alternate-reality Jetsons?

So you don't have text messaging. How the hell did you ever meet a girl without texting? I call bullshit, you just don't want to talk to me. I just watched Human Centipede and laughed so hard it woke up my roommates. ARE YOU A PART OF THIS EXPERIENCE THE ANSWER IS NO.

[etoven]

Holy fuck me. Is that an alternate-reality Jetsons?

So you don't have text messaging. How the hell did you ever meet a girl without texting? I call bullshit, you just don't want to talk to me. I just watched Human Centipede and laughed so hard it woke up my roommates. ARE YOU A PART OF THIS EXPERIENCE THE ANSWER IS NO.

I second your motion of bullshit.. Unless calls end up in that same mystical land.. But you have to understand.. Ryan never answers his phone.. Ever.. I once drove all the way from Salem to Richmond just to see what the hell was going on, only to find his phone stuffed in a drawer on mute.. That's just the way he rolls..

[Weltall]

The difference is, while I do get calls and completely forget to return them, I legitimately do not actually receive text messages.

[Dark Jaguar]

Same here. I really don't understand the point of text messaging and still don't. I was getting them from people for a while (I always called them back instead of bothering to send them phone mail) until I found out that I actually get charged for RECEIVING them. That was the end of that experiment. I mean, you can TALK to people directly, in real time, with your own voice, because it's the future! Why would you waste your time with text in that scenario? I've heard excuses like "well when I'm in class/a funeral/a theater I don't want to be rude". Guess what? If you're trying to avoid paying attention to things you're supposed to be paying attention to anyway, it's still rude! You just found a way to do it "without getting caught", which is nonsense because everyone still sees you doing it, and when you break out your phone mid-conversation to respond to someone's text with your own text, it's actually very annoying. Top it all off with those idiots who think text is so important they should do it while actually driving, an activity that pretty much requires uninterrupted vision, and well, there ya go, it's a collision of dumb.

I'm still waiting for the next amazing innovation, mobile phone telegraphing!

[lazyfatbum]

Har. Texting is cool and its what awesome people do, people who don't text are mutants and backwards, like Koreans.

[Dark Jaguar]

Or blind?