If WWII was an MMORPG...

[Weltall]

http://www.4guysfromviewpoint.com/?p=76

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0J0: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]: sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got crap to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: Eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0J0: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right biznitch im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler[AoE]: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj paTTon
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF Eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny-tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny-tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy sh*tholysh*thoylshti!!!111
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bullsh*t u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny-tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny-tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny-tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

[Dark Jaguar]

That's actually more like every WWII FPS I've played.

An MMORPG would involve something like a french guy running all up ons and saying "can you give me monies? I need 2 levels" and then if you do, they just stick around as a sidekick FOREVER, as an example.

[A Black Falcon]

I've read that before... funny, though. :)

(It's got some historical inaccuracies! Bah! :))

[alien space marine]

Josef Stalin : has 2 frags left


Benito Mussolini :Voi Bastardo il Franco!!

General Franco : Spain has left the Axis

[N-Man]

Sounds every bit like a Starcraft Diplomacy map - especially the "lololol Ill clear u a path".

[EdenMaster]

Oh man, that was priceless.

[Sacred Jellybean]

Never seen that before. :D Excellent.

What were the inaccuracies, Falco?

[EdenMaster]

It's the chat log for our worlds game of Civilization.

Man, I can't wait for Future Tech 3...

[Weltall]

The Germans have captured Paris. 41 Gold Pieces plundered.

[A Black Falcon]

What were the inaccuracies, Falco?

I didn't really want to get into it because it's just a humor piece and as a result this criticism is pretty much irrelevant, but my opinion is:

They have Mussolini talking after he should have been dead, for one...

Italy surrendered to the Allies in late 1943. The Italian army wasn't much oif a factor; after that, most of the fighting was done by the Germans alone. Eventually Mussolini was captured and, after an escape attempt, Mussolini was executed by the Italians in April 1945. (remembered most of that, but checked a few facts...) They have Mussolini lose before Hitler, but he keeps talking all the way through with no mention of what actually happened next.

The other thing I'd mention is that they mostly ignore the Russian front (after Hitler's initial invasion, that is), which is where the Germans were mostly defeated; most of the lines about the battle in Europe are on the Italian, North African, or Western fronts, not the Eastern one. (Patton and Eisenhower are characters and not Zhukov? Ah...) It was the Russian advance across Eastern and Central Europe that weakened the Nazis the most, not the Western advance... I mean, both sides counted, but the troop totals on the Eastern front were many times higher, a fact that the casualty totals reflect.

... it also doesn't really talk about the Pacific theater until after it's done with the European one, which is of course silly. While the last push didn't come until after the victory in Europe, it's hardly like we waited until defeating Hitler before going after Japan. I can understand doing this one the way they did, though, because mixing the two theaters might get confusing...

[Weltall]

Over-analyze much?

[A Black Falcon]

Wasn't that what I was being asked to do? :)

[Dark Jaguar]

He's got you there Welty.

[Weltall]

Itemized list vs. Doctoral Thesis?

[Sacred Jellybean]

"My generation doesn't absorb information this way. Could you reduce everything to factoids?"
-Calvin

[A Black Falcon]

"My generation doesn't absorb information this way. Could you reduce everything to factoids?"
-Calvin

Yup... But then he gets in his wagon and starts talking like a philosopher... :)

(Calvin & Hobbes, still the best!)

Itemized list vs. Doctoral Thesis?

What good is a list if you don't explain why the items on the list are there?

[Weltall]

Oh, well, I understand the Second World War enough that I could see a list and draw conclusions from it. :D