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    Tendo City Tendo City: Residential District The Somewhat-Monthly Review Other Media Movie Reviews BloodRayne

     
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    BloodRayne
    A Black Falcon
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    #1
    8th August 2006, 11:04 PM (This post was last modified: 8th August 2006, 11:24 PM by A Black Falcon.)
    Stupid...

    What, do I really need a full review of this waste of time? :) Uhh... there's lots of mostly pointless blood and gore (fountains of blood, decapitations, swords cutting people apart, etc)? Doesn't really make it worth watching though... plenty of bad acting, pointless plot points... Uwe Boll clearly was trying for an epic (oooh, the people who we cared about are dead! ... for the third time in the movie! ... I was supposed to care about them? They never even talked... oh, maybe that kid... a bit... vaguely... (spoilers? Eh, not so much... did you expect anyone other than the main character to survive the film? Then you're not watching the right movie...) but it just doesn't work. Not that that's at all surprising. :D "This is a big dramatic sad scene because everyone is dead" just isn't nearly as moving as Boll thinks. And plus, when you have so MANY scenes which end in piles of bodies...

    The plot is also confusing at times (and is lacking in explanation of plenty of things), but all kinds of movies and TV shows, both good and bad, have that problem to varying degrees, so that was more expected... doesn't excuse it, but iffy plots is an all too common movie flaw... still through, there are a LOT of dropped or completely incomprehensible plot points. It's pretty painful at times... :)

    The fight at the end was stupid too. For a movie that should be about BloodRayne, why are the two major male characters doing most of the fighting... (not to mention the brilliant plan our three remaining characters had for getting into the evil badguy's castle! ... oh wait, they didn't have one and it just seems to all work out in the end through pure luck? Right... so, so bad...)

    Why did I rent it? At this local rental place each day you get a free movie from some specific section with each rental (except weekends, when it's rent 2 to get 1 free), and tuesdays is 'action'... last time I rented the (very good!) Underworld (director's cut). I wasn't exactly expecting anything of that caliber this time (though I wasn't expecting that last time either, but my hopes were higher than for a Uwe Boll film... :D), and my expectations were met. If any movie with this much gore can be bland and uninteresting, this is it...
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    Dark Jaguar
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    #2
    9th August 2006, 1:33 AM
    The director wants to see YOU in the ring. It's GO TIME.
    "On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
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    A Black Falcon
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    #3
    9th August 2006, 4:27 PM
    :starwars:
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    Dark Jaguar
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    #4
    9th August 2006, 6:46 PM
    From what I've heard though, it really does suck. It is apparently not even worthy of the obvious pun one could make from that statement.
    "On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
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    A Black Falcon
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    #5
    30th April 2007, 7:13 PM
    http://kotaku.com/gaming/dr%27-chowderhe...256574.php

    The film's huge fanbase will be thrilled to know that a sequel is coming, I'm sure! (There's a trailer at the link... words cannot express it...)

    How the heck does this guy keep getting money to make movies?
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    Bo Jackson
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    #6
    30th April 2007, 7:25 PM
    whyyyyy did you watch this
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    Dark Jaguar
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    #7
    30th April 2007, 7:31 PM
    Check the end of the review. As for why he CONTINUED watching it, he already spent the money. It would have been wasted.
    "On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
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    A Black Falcon
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    #8
    30th April 2007, 8:22 PM
    I'd heard Uwe Boll's movies were awful but hadn't seen any of them, so I wanted to rectify that situation... :) (and it was horrible, but just bad enough to finish)
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