~*BLOODBORNE*~ - Printable Version +- Tendo City (https://www.tendocity.net) +-- Forum: Tendo City: Metropolitan District (https://www.tendocity.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=4) +--- Forum: Tendo City (https://www.tendocity.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=42) +--- Thread: ~*BLOODBORNE*~ (/showthread.php?tid=6837)

~*BLOODBORNE*~ - Sacred Jellybean - 17th May 2015 hey y'all I'm here to tell you about ~*BLOODBORNE*~, a game I ignored for many weeks because all the preview videos on Polygon made it look boring. There was no zest, it was just some cookie-cutter Victorian hack-n-slash. For reasons unspecified, I picked up a copy today on impulse. Fuck, 65 bucks for a PS4 game?! And with Gamestop, it used to be that if you didn't like a game, you could take it back within one week and exchange it for another. For a full refund, maybe not cash, but store credit at least. But now, taking it back means I'd only get half that in store credit, what the fuck Gamestop?! Anyway, ~*BLOODBORNE*~ is a game where you go on and fight baddies and harvest their ~*BLOOD*~ so you can get ~*BLOOD ECHOES*~. If this sounds like a shit Anne Rice novel, well... just be glad there aren't any rock star vampires. Yet. You start the game pretty much unarmed, and you have to fist-fight a large wolf. Inevitably he kills your ass, so they send you to some Dream world, to let you equip some weapons to go back and beat the snot out of him. So I get to select a Melee weapon and a Projectile one. Okay sure fine, I'll take this big saw thingy here. I have a choice between two guns, no idea how either of them work. Fuck it, flip a coin, good enough. Now let's get this show on the road. LET'S GO KICK THAT WOLF'S ASS. Wait. How do I get out of here? So I'm running all around the Dream-world like a chump trying to figure it out. I finally google it, and you have to go to some random gravestone to escape, wtf. How was I supposed to know that? I kind of wish video games gave stupid people like me more direction to figure out wtf I'm doing. Okay so I get summoned back up and YEAH, TIME TO ICE THAT MOTHER FUCKING WOLF. Ow, hey, fuck, stop that. Oh shit, he bit me the third time. I'm dead. My character crumples to the ground. ...yes, I died. Thanks, game. So I gathered. So I'm taken to a loading screen that says and it takes a minute to load. C'mon, hurry up. I want to play again. Whew, okay, here I go again, let's take this wolf dow- ...you son-of-a-bitch. Okay, I'm still getting used to the controls, that's alright. Now if I could- I KNOW I FUCKING DIED, I SAW MY CHARACTER DO IT, STOP tanoehutrneouhrsaepuhcrRRRRGGHHH So after maybe ten tries, I finally get the bastard. Frustrating, but manageable. So I pop out of whatever castle I'm in and get on the streets. Everything has a brown/red/gray tint. Boring aesthetic, boring color scheme. Where's the personality to this game for Christ's sake?? Okay, here's some townsfolk and they're a little easier. Dodge, slash once-or-twice, bing bang boom... blah. I'm at a part where there's a big fuck-off mob of people marching the streets with torches and pitchforks and whatever else they could arm themselves with. Sounds pretty cool, right? ...no, it's not cool. It's fucking Okay, this hack saw thing I've been using is pretty good, now let me use my gun. I'm at the point where I really need a projectile weapon. ...wait, where is it? I pressed the left D-pad like the game told me to. My Helsing stand-in just kind of stands there, worthlessly patting his ass-pockets and then looking back at me, like he's shrugging and saying "Well, you tell me ol' Beanjo." wut. Open inventory, go to weapons... yep, it's right there. Two menu options: USE (grayed out) DISCARD ...I paid good fucking money for this gun! Now I can't use it?! As I kill enemies, I keep getting these Bullets, but I guess my gun can't use them? Fuck, should have chosen the other gun. Maybe I can go back to the Dream world and exchange it. I think there was a portal back there... YES! Okay, here I am, now where was that weapons shop? ...it's gone. fuck. I'm saddled with a projectile I can't use, constantly teased by getting the wrong bullets and making the wrong choice. Well fuck damn it, how was I supposed to know?! God fucking damn it ~*BLOODBORNE*~, you're getting on my nerves. Should have never listened to the guy at the auto tire shop. 3/10 so far, let's hope it improves. How the fuck did this get good reviews anywhere? ...oh, right. Video games reviews are worthless. Someone get those Gamergate morons on the line and tell them to fight the real injustice, websites like Polygon and IGN pretending that shit like ~*BLOODBORNE*~ is not only passable, but purportedly entertaining. ... ~*BLOODBORNE*~ - A Black Falcon - 17th May 2015 You haven't played a Dark Souls game, I take it. They're supposed to be super difficult, that's the whole point. The fans of Dark Souls and Bloodborne like them for exactly that reason -- you die over and over until you learn what to do, then you get past that part because it's a very memorization-rewarding game style. Personally, I don't like the games very much. I only have the first Dark Souls, and admit I didn't play it for too long, but I got tired of dying repeatedly at the beginning of the game and turned it off before finishing the intro level, and haven't gone back. I understand what it's trying to do, but it's not fun and doesn't feel rewarding or interesting either, for me. ~*BLOODBORNE*~ - Sacred Jellybean - 17th May 2015 Good news, I googled how to equip weapons and managed to get my gun working. ...unfortunately it's pretty much useless. I'm getting a little a little more used to this games rhythm so I'm bumping it up to 5/10 for the time. Still haven't managed to get past the townsfolk. There's like two or three dozen of them, and you have to strategically lure them from the crowd and pick them off one by one. If you try to take on more than two at once you get your dick knocked in the dirt pretty quickly. I hear ya on the difficulty. Hopefully the game feels more rewarding as I go on. Damn it I payed 65 bucks for this turd, I will get my money's worth. ~*BLOODBORNE*~ - A Black Falcon - 18th May 2015 That's true, if I'd spent $65 for one of these games (Dark Souls or Bloodborne) I'd probably want to try harder to get my money's worth out of it too... ~*BLOODBORNE*~ - Sacred Jellybean - 21st May 2015 Okay so I finally learned what the bloody hell these ~*BLOOD ECHOES*~ things are, apparently you use them to upgrade your armor and buy provisions. Blood vials for energy, maltov cocktails for wrecking your enemies. Blood echoes are the spoils from killing your foes. If you die, you lose them, but you can get them back if you respawn and find the bastard that killed you. Woulda been nice to like, have this explained to me. Instead of seeing ~*BLOOD ECHOES RETRIEVED*~ flash up on screen and wondering what the hell the game is talking about. Sheesh. I had to google to figure out most this game's mechanics. Seems like an oversight to not have a tutorial mode or something to explain this shit. Now that I understand the game better, I'm enjoying myself more. I'll bump it to 7/10. ~*BLOODBORNE*~ - Sacred Jellybean - 6th December 2015 Okay, I finally beat this game. It really did grow on me, as towards the end, I was pretty much hooked. I give it a B. It's a fun action RPG, with no real story to speak of, and whatever they put in is kinda flaky. You're in some nightmare world that you have to defeat or blah blah blah whatever. There are a few cinematics, but they're all style over substance. And that's okay. Not all games need to have an engaging story, just whatever gets by. It's the reason most video game movies suck. What Bloodborne gets right are enemy battles, from run-of-the-mill henchmen to the final bosses. You have to pay attention to how an enemy attacks and maneuver yourself accordingly. God damn, that last boss was a pain. Not the wheel-chair bound guy (who finally discovers his bodily mobility), but the enormous bug-like thing they call the baby's wet-nurse. It was enough of a challenge to be frustrating, but satisfying when you finally do get it. Most bosses can be overcome if you spend your time grinding, which is kind of annoying, but not such a big deal.