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+--- Thread: The NEW TC Story Thread! (/showthread.php?tid=414)
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 22nd March 2003
*Sodomy ensues*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 22nd March 2003
That just not as funny if you dont babble some crap before you type it.
Suddam Hussein looks at his sons.
"Sodomy Ensues"!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 23rd March 2003
*OB1 goes to his 51rst annual family reunion...sees grandparents, distant cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.*
*Mass sodomy ensues*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Weltall - 29th March 2003
Then the mystical Italian fairy visits every human being in the world one night, sealing their assholes with industrial strength concrete, thus eliminating the possibility of sodomy, and also causing critical constipation. Several million people arrange for anal sex with jackhammers.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 29th March 2003
It's about time someone thought of that. I'm just glad all that sodomy bullshit is FINALLY over!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 30th March 2003
Picks up the academy award that TC was awarded for best origional script for this forum(since everyone who gets one doesn't really deserve it) and knocks Darunia out with it takes control of Canada away from Darunia.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - OB1 - 30th March 2003
We should turn this thread into a movie.
Although it might have to be a stag film what with all of the sodomy.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Jaguar - 31st March 2003
Ugh, that car repair was getting sickening...
Anyway, each TC story thread seems to have a repeating theme. This one's is obvious... Last time it all had to do with... hmm, I forget... Oh well, next time a new theme will come up *continues valient attempt to keep this particular "theme" exclusive to THIS story and never used again*.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 31st March 2003
*Goron troops enter forum, and seize copyrights to all materials contained within this thread. To sell rights to Steven Spielburg for filming*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 31st March 2003
Steven Spielberg rejects it because it's even worse than Jurasic Park III
The Theme that reacurs in all of them is someone always takes over Canada
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Weltall - 31st March 2003
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Michael Jackson picks his nose, which falls off. A zombie hitchhiker from Raccoon City bends over and eats it.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 1st April 2003
Zombie hitchiker realizes that it is infected with the T-Virus.
"4 itchy tasy...?" he mutters, as he is suddenly it by a speeding train, which shortly after derails at the Umbrella Training Facility.
Michael Jackson pursues his half-eaten nose.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 1st April 2003
The Zombie begins showing signs of the T-Virus and starts holding himself and getting in line at discount plastic surgery clinics
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 2nd April 2003
Thuss Micheal Jackson is reborn.
Only to find he has lost his penis.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 2nd April 2003
Michael Jackson turns out to be Wesker in disguise.
Michael Jackson flees Racoon City, and bunks in with Weltall. The two strike of a great friendship, and in fact some people would wonder how much more.
Goron troops annex Argentina.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 3rd April 2003
The US government who likes suporting military takeovers of governments in other countries, especially when they were democratically elected recognizes Darunia as the new President of Argentina
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 3rd April 2003
Goron troops annex Canada.
Michael Jackons holds press conference; is pregnant.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 4th April 2003
The British save their colony and piece of the empire
err former coloney and peice of former empire
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 4th April 2003
An army of Richard simmons is cloned who's sole purpose is to kill Darunia.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 4th April 2003
Goron 7th Infantry Division (78,000 troops+support)meets army of Robotic Richard Simmons' (160,000) on the field. Goron right wing, under command of Major General Gravel, swings hard and smashes the flank of the robots. The left wing, under Sir Goron Stone, commences a devastating rolling barrage on the countering robot flank. The center, under Emperor Darunia, enacts a bold bayonet charge, inflicting heavy casualties. Robots are routed; losing 49,000 dead. Goron losses are less than one.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 4th April 2003
Secretly An army of lice raids Darunia body as he is distrated with the Richard simmons clones. They make Darunia So itchy he is forced to rip his skin off and reveal his insides.
Its not a pretty sight.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 4th April 2003
Unfortunatly for Darunia at the time he was in Toronto and his condition made him highly suseptible to SARS
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 4th April 2003
But then Neo and ASP realize that in stead of Darunia, their infected Jean Chretien.
*Gorons again annex Canada*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 4th April 2003
Darunia's personal body gaurd turns out to be canadian agent, Darunia is asasinated
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Weltall - 4th April 2003
*Weltall wonders why a place like Canada is worth so much bloodshed*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Fittisize - 4th April 2003
Free health care.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 5th April 2003
DLN draws up new plans to defend Canada so that Darunia can't take it over to control the worlds maple syrup suplies and draft all the hockey players into his own evil hockey teams
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 5th April 2003
Why canada is valueble.
Oil, natural gas,Gold, diamonds,timber,maple syrup, Our skilled hard working people and Alot of other crap.
Darunia gets banged by a handful of Marilyn Manson fans !
Sodomy Ensues!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 5th April 2003
GORON GENERAL(TO DARUNIA ON RADIO): My Most Excellent Imperious Majesty, we're encountering more resistance at the front lines of Toronto then we'd expected.
DARUNIA: Surely you don't mean that they're fighting back? The Canadians never fight for anything, not even their own independence!
GENERAL: Yes my liege...but they are now...as we speak, legions of hockey players and lumberjacks are advancing towards our front lines, with hockey sticks and axes!
(Explosion outside from gunpoweder-filled hockey pucks raining down)
DARUNIA(angry): Insolent bastards! They'll learn respect! I'M COMING THEIR PERSONALLY(Hangs up).
GENERAL(gasping): Uh-oh...NOW they're in for it!!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 5th April 2003
The canadian Rebels cook up smokey bacon and Lure thousand troops to mass graves to do high dosses of fat and MSG.
The new president Wayne Gretsky lead the Canadian forces on the for front of distiny.
Darunia is left to Sodomize himself out of pure fustration.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 5th April 2003
*Goron 1rst Army (205,000 men, 45,000 cavalry, 428 artillery pieces, under Emperor Darunia) takes up siege positions outside of Québec. Goron 2nd Army (130,000 men, 30,000 cav., 229 artillery pieces, Gen. Granite) surrounds Toronto.*
*Darunia issues ultimatum to Québec: Vous tous doivent quitter de la ville sous la peine de mort!*
*Darunia, realizing this has nothing to do with TC any more, decides to open a new fashion boutique at Ramble City, calling it "Darunia's Fashion Emporium".*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 5th April 2003
Unfortunatly Quebec City was built to withstand a seige and the gates are closed.
Just like when the Americans tried to take Montreal and Quebec there was a horrible winter and the supplie lines were cut and the gorons were forced to eat the leather of their shoes(this poesed a problem as they leathery stuff on their feet was infact skin not shoes)
THe entire goron army dies of starvation because Darunia forgot one thing, troops need food
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 6th April 2003
Quebec withstand a siege? *cough* 1759 *cough*.
*Toronto surrenders unconditionally on April 6th. Goron detachment occupies city. Next day, Montreal and Ottawa sue for peace, realizing how great and mighty the Goron War machine is. They beg the US to help, but the US remembers Canada's war committment at Iraq and laughs*
*Canada forced to pay luxurious war indemnity to Goron Empire; annexed Nova Scotia*
---*End Goron-Canadian War*
;) :p
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 6th April 2003
britain comes to the rescue and declares war on the Goron Empire.So does all the brittish Common wealth.
Meanwhile a army of Inuit and native people take up arms agiast Darunia.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Weltall - 6th April 2003
Weltall wonders if Darunia plays Civilization II.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 6th April 2003
Darunia's never played Civilization II.
Britain and Australia (the might of the Commonwealth) respect the honorable Goron Empire, and after politely asking Darunia to stop picking on Canada, give up.
*Gorons are happy with Nova Scotia; withdraw from Canada. Darunia declares a new enemy of the Goron People; the Rito!*
*Goron Empire declares war on the Rito people from Winde Waker*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 6th April 2003
*note* sadley, the Australian armed forces is actually smaller than the Canadian armed forces, which is really sad*end note*
NATO retaliates against Goron Empire
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 6th April 2003
*NATO receives plastic fruit basket from Darunia; backs down in light of nice gift.*
*Goron 10th Navy sails to Dragon Roost Isle; begins heavy bombardment of said isle. Rito Air Forces scrambled; drops bombs, causing some damage and concern. Goron Mirage jets scrambled in return; frantic air-sea battle wages. 35,000 Goron Marines wade ashore, and are met with heavy opposition at the shores*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - EdenMaster - 6th April 2003
EdenMaster ships a copy of Civilization II to Darunia so he can see what he is missing. Unfortunately, while going through customs, the gift is mistaken for a bomb.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 7th April 2003
*Dragoon Roost Isle surrenders; Goron flag planted where Vazoo one planted his fat red ass*
*All Ritos exiled from Isle; Darunia makes private cabana there*
*End Goron-Rito War*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 7th April 2003
Rito's return,
Kill Darunia
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 7th April 2003
Ritos are gay. The only thing they killed was Wind Waker.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 8th April 2003
isnt Ritos a brand of patatoe chips?
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 8th April 2003
FRITOS is a brand of chip. The Ritos were those gay bird people in Wind Waker. Troops under my command just conquered their island, though...so don't worry.
----Barry
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 8th April 2003
Quote:Originally posted by Darunia
FRITOS is a brand of chip. The Ritos were those gay bird people in Wind Waker. Troops under my command just conquered their island, though...so don't worry.
----Barry
I think that was really death mountain, maybe they were evolved Gorons (dinasoars evolved into birds so why not Gorons?) and Darunia actually wiped out his own people
The NEW TC Story Thread! - EdenMaster - 8th April 2003
What's wrong with the Rito? I thought they were kind of cool, especially the one that always help you out.
DLN, there were Gorons in Wind Waker :D. Nice try though.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 9th April 2003
Yea, no shit DLN. Three mysterious goron merchants...who didn't even show their faces.
*Files class action suit against Nintendo for discriminating against Gorons in Wind Waker.*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 9th April 2003
Perhaps those Gorons were the inferior unevolved forms and if they only did some leveling or used the rock stone then they would evolve
oh wait wrong game
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 10th April 2003
...
*Declares formal state of war on Dark Lord Neo*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Weltall - 10th April 2003
*Activating alliance with Darunia, Weltall also declares war on Dark Lord Neo*