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There aren't enough Killer7 topics. - Printable Version

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There aren't enough Killer7 topics. - Sacred Jellybean - 7th January 2005

Have any of you heathens even created a topic dedicated to Killer7 in the past? I'm too lazy to run a search. Wait, no. I'm so lazy that I'm too lazy to be too lazy to run a search.

*runs a search*

Nope. Judging by just the topic names, no one has. Morons!

Anyways, I cruised onto IGN today, and found this article - <a HREF="http://cube.ign.com/articles/577/577698p1.html">He's gonna 'splode, mama!!</a>

It says, and (since I'm not dumb like ABF) I quote:

Quote:January 6, 2005 - We still may not be sure what Capcom's Killer 7 is all about, but at least we can expect to find out shortly. Retail sources in Japan have revealed a 3/24 date for the Japanese release of Killer 7 on both the PS2 and GameCube.

With a Japanese release for the still-mysterious title coming so soon, we expect to at last get a hands-on in the coming weeks. Stay tuned for more shortly.

March 24th!! Woo-hoo-hoo! I absolutely cannot wait until this game is released in the states. It's easily my most anticipated GCN game, and yes, that includes Legend of Zelda GC, because that's so far away and I'm so horny now, don't you see the situation that plagues me?!? I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG FOR AN ORGASM! I TRIED AND FAILED!

Go watch the Killer7 trailer. The game is the most gorgeous GC title I've ever laid eyes on. It's cel-shaded beauty fills my black little heart with warmth. Like Sublime. *dances* :shiggy2: The trailer features a black guy!! And a hot white chick in a school girl skirt! Maybe they bone! Even if it's off-camera, I'll be a happy man, I mean, I'm not picky about chocolate love.

The cel-shading work on Killer7 easily surmounts that of Viewtiful Joe (I just bought that game for twenny bucks, great game, btw). I think it may even pass the Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, but I won't judge that far until the game is getting hot and heavy with my purple sex cube while the controller vibrates on my crotch. I mean, it's games like Killer7 that make you take a long, hard look at yourself and say, "Why can women have multiple orgasms and not men?! WHY, GOD, WHY?!?"

Is anyone else waiting for this game on hands and knees? I mean, that's not really necessary, you could just sit in your computer chair while your ass falls asleep while drinking Cherry Coke and eating sloppy joes smothered in tobasco sauce, but that's a little cliched by now, don't you think?

Talk. Discuss. Make me feel like a sexy woman again. *flashes nipples at lazy*

There aren't enough Killer7 topics. - Sacred Jellybean - 7th January 2005

Okay, fuckers. Let's cut to the chase. I'll post a bunch of the dumb, predictable shit you guys always do, and once that's out the way, THEN we can discuss Killer7. OKAY?!

Quote:He's gonna 'splode, mama!!
<img src="http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~djc46/wonkawhat.jpg">

Quote:I absolutely cannot wait until this game is released in the states. It's easily my most anticipated GCN game, and yes, that includes Legend of Zelda GC, because that's so far away and I'm so horny now, don't you see the situation that plagues me?!?
<img src="http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~djc46/uhhh.JPG">

Quote:I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG FOR AN ORGASM! I TRIED AND FAILED!
<img src="http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~djc46/deargodstop.jpg">

Quote:I'm too lazy to run a search. Wait, no. I'm so lazy that I'm too lazy to be too lazy to run a search.
<img src="http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~djc46/holdon.JPG">

Quote:The trailer features a black guy!! And a hot white chick in a school girl skirt! Maybe they bone!
<img src="http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~djc46/homestarwhat.gif">

Quote: Even if it's off-camera, I'll be a happy man, I mean, I'm not picky about chocolate love.
<img src="http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~djc46/impracticality.bmp">


Quote: I think it may even pass the Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, but I won't judge that far until the game is getting hot and heavy with my purple sex cube while the controller vibrates on my crotch.
<img src="http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~djc46/dorkwhat.JPG">

Quote:I mean, it's games like Killer7 that make you take a long, hard look at yourself and say, "Why can women have multiple orgasms and not men?! WHY, GOD, WHY?!?"
<img src="http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~djc46/deargodno.JPG">

Quote:Is anyone else waiting for this game on hands and knees? I mean, that's not really necessary, you could just sit in your computer chair while your ass falls asleep while drinking Cherry Coke and eating sloppy joes smothered in tobasco sauce, but that's a little cliched by now, don't you think?
<img src="http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~djc46/sheilawhat.gif">

Quote:Make me feel like a sexy woman again.
<img src="http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~djc46/what14.jpg">

Quote: *flashes nipples at lazy*
<img src="http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~djc46/wtfbum.JPG">

There aren't enough Killer7 topics. - Great Rumbler - 7th January 2005

Erm

There aren't enough Killer7 topics. - OB1 - 7th January 2005

I don't even know what the hell kind of game it is.

There aren't enough Killer7 topics. - Great Rumbler - 7th January 2005

Nobody does.

There aren't enough Killer7 topics. - lazyfatbum - 7th January 2005

*died* that was funny as fuck

Holy shit, I had no idea you were that interested in Killer 7. I'm creaming myself aswell and hoping the school girl and the token black guy get pronasty.

Here's what I know about Killer 7:

It's a game
there's a black guy in it
Someone's in a wheelchair
It's cel-shaded
It involves shooting in the 3rd and 1st perspectives
The blood looks cool
...did I mention it's a shooter?
...
Oh, you play as a man who has Multiple Personality Disorder and has 7 different personalities that you can change in to. How this works, why it's there and what purpose it brings to gameplay is not known. But I bet it involves hardcore cel-shaded interacial schoolgirl sex in a wheelchair from the 3rd and 1st perspectives with cool looking blood.

Yeah, that's about all I know. Apparently the game can also increase your bust size, organize your 401(k), standardize the metric system and show you the future if you give it fresh souls. But this info is from countless message boards and probably rumor mills and must be completely true.

There aren't enough Killer7 topics. - Sacred Jellybean - 7th January 2005

Mmm-hmm, if you watch the trailer, you can get a pretty good idea of what the gameplay will encapsule. You see a guy running, switching to first person mode, shooting people who turn into some unsettling type of goo (not jism not jism not jism not jism), and... and... you probably get to play as that black guy!! It's like GTA San Andreas all over again!

OB1 - C'mon, presentation is important to a guy like you. You never shut up about ICO's storytelling! So you of all people should be creaming your pants. *steals all the moist towellettes and helps jesus swallow them with just the right amount of vaseline and a large purple dildo so OB1 has to walk around wet for the rest of the year* This game's presentation looks like it might look like it could be possibly looking like giving out the appearance that slightly suggests that it could almost be definitely ambiguously worthwhile.

:graphics:

Don't decieve me, wigger-hating playa hata deity in the clouds!

There aren't enough Killer7 topics. - A Black Falcon - 7th January 2005

I think its an FPS... or something... kinda...

There aren't enough Killer7 topics. - OB1 - 7th January 2005

Sacred Jellybean Wrote:Mmm-hmm, if you watch the trailer, you can get a pretty good idea of what the gameplay will encapsule. You see a guy running, switching to first person mode, shooting people who turn into some unsettling type of goo (not jism not jism not jism not jism), and... and... you probably get to play as that black guy!! It's like GTA San Andreas all over again!

OB1 - C'mon, presentation is important to a guy like you. You never shut up about ICO's storytelling! So you of all people should be creaming your pants. *steals all the moist towellettes and helps jesus swallow them with just the right amount of vaseline and a large purple dildo so OB1 has to walk around wet for the rest of the year* This game's presentation looks like it might look like it could be possibly looking like giving out the appearance that slightly suggests that it could almost be definitely ambiguously worthwhile.

:graphics:

Don't decieve me, wigger-hating playa hata deity in the clouds!

I still don't know what kind of game Killer 7 is. Shooter, something...

There aren't enough Killer7 topics. - Sacred Jellybean - 8th January 2005

It's not as though all we know about the game is it's name! Sweet Beelzebub, there's a trailer! Watch it! Guess! Touch yourself in forbidden spots!

There aren't enough Killer7 topics. - OB1 - 8th January 2005

I've seen the trailer, and it doesn't explain squat! Not even gaming site editors know what the game is going to play like! They just know that it's vaguely shooter-ish.