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+--- Thread: TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! (/showthread.php?tid=2148)
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Great Rumbler - 2nd September 2004
*calls in the 10th armored grav-tank division to intercept the Goron troops*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Darunia - 4th September 2004
PETER: Ehhehehehehe---hey Lois, these Tendites shall tremble at the might of the Goron War Machine!
MASTER SHAKE: Yes--they will suffer. Greatly.
*The Mooninites, Leslie Nielsen, Denmark and the cast of Sealab 2021 formally allign with the Goron Coalition in the Treaty of Tordesillas*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Geno - 4th September 2004
*calls forth Operation Human Shield, which is made up of hundreds of illegal immigrants; human shield takes all the blows from Goron attacks as backup forces fight back*
*also aligned with the Tendites are Brian the talking dog, Bender the robot, and v-chip empowered Eric Cartman*
Cartman: Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties, boner, bitch, muff, pussy, cock, butthole, Barbra Streisand! *zaps several Gorons with the v-chip's electricity*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Weltall - 4th September 2004
I named my new dog Johnson because he's a small dog and his genitals are very large.
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - EdenMaster - 5th September 2004
Dark Jaguar Wrote:Help Jesus carry his own cross with NEW kung-fu action grip!
And there may not be any room at the inn, but there's PLENTY of room in Malibu Mary's split level beach house!
And that's not all! What's up with this crucifix? When you fold it this way, it's a dinosaur! <b><i>ROOOOAR!</i></b>
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Darunia - 5th September 2004
*The Goron Coalition mobilizes fully, and begins a march on Tendo City. The 2nd day, it completely encircles the city--cutting off all entry and exit. The Atomic Chimps begin a poorly coordinated sortie at noon; 15,000 strong--they charge into a well-defended palisade of 160,000 Goron-Danish troops, Master Shake and Peter Griffin. In the resulting massacre, only three atomic chimps surive--the remainders abandon the Tendo City cause, and Darunia allows them to leave in peace*
*Holland alligns with the Gorons*
*Yankees Suck*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Great Rumbler - 5th September 2004
*France surrenders*
*Anyway, 8 battalions of armored mutli-pedal urban assualt tanks come out of hiding and beging firing on the Goron-Danish forces. After 3 hours of heaving shelling Darunia's forces retreat into the woods several miles from Tendocity. 12 squadrons of B-91 bombers being carpet-bombing the woods shortly after.*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - EdenMaster - 5th September 2004
Sodomy Ensues
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Great Rumbler - 6th September 2004
...
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - UltraMarioMan - 6th September 2004
Quote:he Atomic Chimps begin a poorly coordinated sortie at noon; 15,000 strong--they charge into a well-defended palisade of 160,000 Goron-Danish troops, Master Shake and Peter Griffin. In the resulting massacre, only three atomic chimps surive--the remainders abandon the Tendo City cause, and Darunia allows them to leave in peace**Unknown to the Goron forces the 15,000 Atomic Chimps were merely a distraction as his main force moved into position to assist GR's attack* *Over 300,000 elite Atomic Chimp infantry help defend the airbases from which the B-91 bombers launch*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Geno - 6th September 2004
More sodomy ensues.
Brian: While you're at it, God, why don't you just give us all cancer?
Cartman: Eh heh... he's just kidding, God. Seriouslah.
Bender: I want cancer!
Brian and Cartman: ...
Bender: Except I can't get cancer because I'm a robot! Suckers!
Cartman: *kicks Bender*
Bender: Ow!
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Darunia - 7th September 2004
*Goron-Alliance regroups in the woods; having suffered as many as 18,000 killed out of the 650,000 total. General Marcus Darunius oversees the recovery of his army the rest of the day. Later on, 68,000 Dutch-Polish-Mooninite-Russian troops arrive to relieve Goron Coalition. They bivouac that night in the woods, behind a well-defended network of forts.*
*On the third day, the Goron 18th Light Hussars feint in the Atomic Chimps hordes. Goron forces pull a classic pincer movement, and close off the line of retreat; Russian and Dutch artillery pounds the position into dust as the melee ensues---650 Gorons killed; but all Atomic Chimps (AND I MEAN ALL THIS TIME) are either killed or captured-wounded*
*Mooninites used their quadlaser to provide air cover to fend off B-91 and other would-be assailers*
*On the 4th day, Tendo City is once more completley surrounded and cut off. Its harbor is blockaded. The skies are filled with the drone of Coalition aircraft. Darunia demands unconditional surrender*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - UltraMarioMan - 7th September 2004
*Just as all hope seems lost the sky is filled with a blinding flash* *In their haste to win the Goron Forces missed the 5 Megaton Thermonuclear self destruct device each Atomic Chimp has surgically emplanted* *All captured Atomic Chimps set off their devices the moment they were brought into the very crowded Goron encampment* In one instant of nuclear hellfire 400,000 Goron Troops are vaporized and another 150,000 are blinded*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Great Rumbler - 7th September 2004
Quote:*Mooninites used their quadlaser to provide air cover to fend off B-91 and other would-be assailers*
Now that's just silly. By the time the quadlaser got here we'd all be dead!
*Anyway, Emporer Great Rumbler of the Alpha Centuari Federation of Planets [ACFOP] orders that the Graviton-class particle-annihilator cannon buried deep within the surface of Oloff 7 to be fired at the Goron blockade. Meanwhile, surface-to-air laser begin, with deadly precision, to chop General Darunia and his coalition's aircrafts.*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Darunia - 8th September 2004
*Little did UltraMarioMan realize, however, that the Chimp POWs weren't interned in Tendo City, but rather, had been shipped to Vietnam, Yankee Stadium, Canada and Cuba. All of which longer exist*
*Darunia alligns with the christian god, who being the omnipowerful creator of all, snaps his fingers and reduces all Anti-Goron forces throughout the universe to ash and cinders, for all time. Later, God crowns Darunia Uncontested Ruler of All (or Vice-God)*
*End of the Goron Coalition-TC War*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - UltraMarioMan - 8th September 2004
*Then Darunia wakes up from his dream to find out he lost the war and is locked in a jail cell*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Great Rumbler - 8th September 2004
Quote:*Darunia alligns with the christian god, who being the omnipowerful creator of all, snaps his fingers and reduces all Anti-Goron forces throughout the universe to ash and cinders, for all time. Later, God crowns Darunia Uncontested Ruler of All (or Vice-God)*
Hahaha...no.
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Darunia - 10th September 2004
*Sigh*
Just admit that I won the war so we can forget about this tiresome thread.
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - UltraMarioMan - 11th September 2004
You didn't win because you cheated. You can't win like that.
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Great Rumbler - 11th September 2004
Because cheaters never win! But cheetas ALWAYS win! *Darunia is attacked by cheetahs*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - UltraMarioMan - 11th September 2004
Cheetahs rule. So do Cheetos. Is is just me or do GR and I sound high all the time?
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Dark Jaguar - 11th September 2004
Yeah sorry, regardless of what some "Christians" may seem to suggest, you can't pray for someone's destruction. I mean, it's not that God couldn't do that, but He WON'T. There ARE some prayers where God's answer is "Hahaha, no".
Wait, no no no no no! Stupid stupid me! Okay then.
*Climbs into Weltall (sorry) and starts destroying Deus*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - UltraMarioMan - 11th September 2004
*Remembers that ep of Family Guy*
The Pope: Smite Them!
*Nothing happens*
The Pope: He's-a cooking something up...
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Geno - 11th September 2004
...
The one day, Darunia DIED! :clap:
There, now just admit that we won this war so we can get on with our lives! *cry cry* :gay2:
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - EdenMaster - 11th September 2004
Dark Jaguar Wrote:*Climbs into Weltall (sorry) and starts destroying Deus*
Youch...
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Great Rumbler - 11th September 2004
I haven't seen something that bad since you put a monkey in my pocket and turned a leopard loose in my socks!!
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - lazyfatbum - 11th September 2004
*runs in holding child porn magazines and a large cage, opens it and a medium build albino tiger pounces out on to Darunia. lazy finds it funny and Darunia dies which is also funny/sad because Siegfried and Roy are German and the albino tiger is Jewish. Not hardcore Jewish but is pretty devout and visits pet temple often but not like: 'dude i'm SO Jewish right now! let's go cut off a kittens penis and not cook meat in the same pan as fish etc!' he's more laid back and relaxed about the whole "chosen people/pets/wild animals" and "burden" thing which really pisses off the other Jewish pets... and some members of the NAACP but i'm getting off subject. bottom line -- Darunia is dead and he was murdered in cold Jewish-hating blood by a German/Goron hating albino tiger (even though he's not Kosher... I think... is (was) Darunia kosher?) that I released. Yes; ME. Gufaw and what not. Rubber pants, hymens and fruitty cups. Rest now coffee Pikmin 2 all for me yes and mine happy good*
*kicks Darunia's mom*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - EdenMaster - 11th September 2004
...
One of a kind, you are, my friend.
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Great Rumbler - 12th September 2004
:clap:
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - UltraMarioMan - 12th September 2004
How very...normal for Lazy...
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Darunia - 12th September 2004
Yeah sorry, regardless of what some "Christians" may seem to suggest, you can't pray for someone's destruction. I mean, it's not that God couldn't do that, but He WON'T. There ARE some prayers where God's answer is "Hahaha, no".
If it is beyond his capacity to ever kill anyone like that, then it is therefore impossible for him to do something----and don't argue "well he could if he wanted to" semantics with me. Thus he is not all-powerful. Thank you discrediting the diety for me.
*Goron troops take the field from the routing Neo-Xstian forces. They pray for their salvation, never realizing that they're only thinking aloud to themselves*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - EdenMaster - 12th September 2004
Oh, God could destroy you in ways you can't imagine. There's a distinct difference between CAN'T and WON'T. Just because he WON'T kill a man does in no way mean he CAN'T.
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - UltraMarioMan - 13th September 2004
If God felt like it Darunia he could turn off the energy holding your atoms together and you'd become an expanding cloud of well atoms.
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Geno - 13th September 2004
If I wanted to, I could take this fork and stick it into that electrical socket, but that doesn't mean I'm going to. It's a simple concept which a child could understand.
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - EdenMaster - 13th September 2004
That would be kind of funny, actually. Do it.
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Great Rumbler - 13th September 2004
GR: Do it!
GR: ...
GR: Do it!
GR: ...
GR: Do it!
OB1: Alright! You can stop now!
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - UltraMarioMan - 13th September 2004
Do it! Live on a web cam so we can watch!
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Darunia - 13th September 2004
You do not understand me, children: If he absolutely never, ever conceivable COULD do something, than it is an impossibility. The realm of possibilty rests upon what CAN/COULD HAPPEN. If your god never, ever, EVER COULD kill someone like me, then it is impossible.
We can argue this in circles all night---I'm right. Again.
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - UltraMarioMan - 14th September 2004
Oh shut up if God went around smiting every idiot on Earth there would be like 100 people left.
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Dark Jaguar - 14th September 2004
Won't != can't. Sorry.
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Darunia - 14th September 2004
*Darunia passes mandate to cease the religious debate for the day of TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14TH, 2004, so that all can celebrate the birth of His Most Excellent Majesty.* :goron:
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Geno - 14th September 2004
Darunia, you keep changing our words around. We're saying that God could kill you if He wanted to. He has just chosen not to do so. Just because He can do something doesn't mean He has to or will. It is a possibility. He has the option, He just chooses not to take it. Just like I have chosen not to stick the fork into the electrical socket.
Well, okay, I guess I will since I have a large gathering waiting for it to happen... ready? *sticks the fork into the socket and nothing happens* Did I mention that this fork has a rubber grip on it?
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Great Rumbler - 14th September 2004
Quote:Did I mention that this fork has a rubber grip on it?
Hey! That's cheating!
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - lazyfatbum - 15th September 2004
God: *playing Pikmin 2* I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN WASTE MY TIME WITH A SMALL MINDED BOY WHO NEEDS TO FORCE HIS OPINIONS ON EVERYONE.... besides, in May of 2027 Darunia will lose his testicles in a fight over Boar's Head Cheese to a Biker named Ron Po... something... and Dar's voice will go up 3 octaves. He will reform the 'Begees 2' and die in his 50's from an overdose of 'Gliss' which is Xtasy and cocain mixed with peanut butter and jellatin formed concentrated beer. But you wont know about that until the late 20's of this mellinium. Now if you'll excuse me, a 15 year old girl is about to throw a newborn baby in to a dumpster and I need to send my Guilt-Trip Harpes after her and then try to get her tubes tied. *ka-whoosh* oh, and if you want some kind of proof that i'm here then just ask yourself; Why is it that sapiens (you assholes) took 4 million years to reach your current state from a base-form mammal when other mammals are celebrating their 10 millionth birthday and have no where near the dexterity, complexity or depth of a sapien, It aint cuz of re-runs of Three's Company, buddy boy... Gah, I beat Pikmin 2 in six days. God damn i'm good... I'm gonna take a nap now. Michael, hold all my calls.
Michael: I'm not your fucking secretary! By the way, George Burns called and wanted to know if you have Prince Albert in a can...
God: OMG!!!!!! THAT'S SO OLD!!!!!!! lol
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - OB1 - 15th September 2004
Hey so where are those pictures from your Nick show?
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - UltraMarioMan - 15th September 2004
Ok thats it! *Sends Darunia 300,000 virus'*
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Geno - 15th September 2004
Isn't the plural of virus virii?
Or viruses, maybe?
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - UltraMarioMan - 15th September 2004
I...don't know...
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - alien space marine - 15th September 2004
![[Image: 118peace1a.jpg]](http://www.abcme.com/imagesredone/118peace1a.jpg)
TENDO CITY: DARUNIA STRIKES BACK! - Dark Jaguar - 15th September 2004
Quote:Isn't the plural of virus virii?
Or viruses, maybe?
STOP TWISTING THE KNIFE!