Tendo City

Full Version: The Ontological Proof of Ninjas
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When we talk about ninjas, we are talking about the sweetest being ever- that is, we are talking about the being that which nothing sweeter can be conceived. So, when we conceive of the ninja in our mind, we conceive of the being that which nothing sweeter can be conceived. But consider this: Is it sweeter to exist only in the mind or to exist both in the mind and in reality-outside the mind? Certainly, it is much sweeter to exist also in reality-flipping out and wailing on guitars is much sweeter when someone is actually doing it. So when we conceive of the sweetest being ever, we are conceiving of the being that exists both in the mind and in reality. Since the ninja is that being that which nothing sweeter can be conceived and that being exists in the mind and in reality, the ninja exists in reality. Thus the ninja exists.

QED. Philosophers are idiots.

Rephrase: Since the ninja is that being that which nothing sweeter can be conceived and that being IS CONCEIVED OF as existing in the mind and in reality, the ninja exists in reality. Oh wait, that's a nonsequiter...
Derned straight.
One time I was so totally pissed off and I was about to commit seppuku because there was nobody else around to kill but then it was my bed time and I almost flipped out and killed my mom but she soothed me into slumber with milk and cookies and Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooey I had a dream that I was totally on a skateboard and shredding on guitar and porking chicks and it was the awesomest and totally sweetest thing ever done.
Ninja is not a noun, it's a VERB, a verb so awesome it wedges it's way into the subject of sentences!