Tendo City

MEGATON!

Haha oh boy this better be seventeen kinds of awesome. Else it's gonna go down as the most massively overhyped console ever, slightly edging out the Atari Jaguar and the 3DO.

Thursdayton!!

REVOLUTON! OMG OMG OMG!!111 I am so teh exciteded. One of use should just come up with a completely random picture of some abstract thing and say: "I think this clue will give you a great idea of what to expect!", then drop it in a bunch of forums and see what ideas people come up with! That would be awesome fun!

Sorry, not trying to be a butthead. But I find this stuff so funny now. I can't help but cracking up. If Nintendo shows something sweet, then that's great. If not, well I'm sure enjoying reading GAF. :)

Behold, the Revolution:



It's a little big, but it can cook dinner and calculate Pi to the 100 bagillinth digit. And you play the games using Nintendo's most innovative controller ever:

Wow!

This makes perfect sense


Months ago, Miyamoto apologizes and says "I feel I have done Nintendo fans a disservice" when confronted with questions about Mario 128.

Reggie, Iwata and others have all said that "E3 is not the time to reveal too much about the Revolution... we've decided to hold off until later in the year."

Now, an announcement that Zelda will be delayed. Nintendo no longer has a Christmas release, their hype machine that was going to float them in to Revolution is gone. We have nothing to wait for except for some Mario sports titles, a Pokemon game and of course Giest which isn't recieving that much good press because of graphics issues.

You could not pick a better time to put some life in to the hype machine than right now. I expect to see Nintendo release some screens, movies of Mario running on Revolution. I expect it... and I WUILL HAVE IT, OR ELSE NINTENDO WILL BE KILLED BU MY HANDF ADN I WILL DRINK THEIOR BLOOD TO MNWATCH THEM DIE SLOWY IN PAINNM SHOW SOME FUCVING SCREENS AND THE FUCKING COINTROLLER ALREADTY111

*breathes heavily, drinks warm tea*

SUPER MARIO.. GALAXY!!

You mean like, Mario on... other worlds?

Holy carp! That'sa brilliant! Imagine the crazy go nuts planets and the physics changing on each world! I mean, they could do all this in the Mushroom kingdom, but using a setting of many worlds they can use astrophysics as motivation for all sorts of new insane cartoon physics. Just as one example off the top of my head... low gravity zone!

Quote:August 17, 2005 - Nintendo's GC 2005 press conference entitled "Expand the Definition of Gaming" opened with a teaser trailer that cited its past home console accomplishments. The trailer flashed a series of slogan-esque claims that went as follows: "expanding the definition of mobile gaming" with the Game Boy, "power" with the SNES, "possibilities" with the N64, "gaming experience" with the N64 rumble pack, "gameplay" with the GameCube, "wireless" with the Wave Bird, "functionality" with the GBA, and "how to play games" with the DS. It ended with a question, "So what exactly is the definition of gaming?"
The answer, "Please don't ask us. Because we will always expand the definition of gaming." Finally Revolution appeared with only the numbers 2006 -- its release year -- painted over it.


Bernd Fakesch, spokesman and General Manager of Nintendo of Europe, opened with a speech that highlighted the company's commitment to innovating with games. Much like with the Revolution's unveiling at E3 this year, the enthusiasm for wi-fi gaming possibilities was echoed here too.

Fakesch said, "In the console market, beginning in 2006 our wi-fi capable flagship Revolution will set new landmarks. By 'expanding the definition of gaming' we don't only mean an advance towards new limits of gaming, but also to new potential players. We want to win over new people and inspire them, those who have never thought about taking a controller into their hands -- more girls, young women, adults, and also elderly players. Certainly in the process we won't neglect the fan community. Germany needs new kinds of games and Nintendo is certainly the company that is best-suited to supply them. We hold a unique position in the market. We are among the worldwide leading hardware manufacturers and at the same time we are among the leading software developers. And that's both for handhelds and home consoles. Additionally, we have decades of experience where we have focused our entire know-how on the content of games and gaming fun."

He finally added, "What are the new games of the future really going to look like? The titles of our innovative Nintendo DS give an idea of this."

What we discerned from this is that, indeed, the company wants to continue to offer fresh gaming experiences, much of which will involve wi-fi play but, additionally, gaming for really old people. This, admittedly, perplexes us. The elderly can, at times, barely feed themselves and this isn't the kind of gaming most, let's say, Smash Bros. or Zelda fans would really want. So, we are certainly very interested to see what Revolution has in store to provide such a wide range of gaming.

Later during the conference Nintendo brought up Revolution again, noting that it will be the next big thing and, again, very much wi-fi enabled. It seems the company can't not talk about wi-fi now that it's got the ball rolling. Interestingly, Fakesch said Revolution will have "a large number of novelties." The "novelties" translation, we speculate, may have actually referred to add-on services or peripherals. When asked for more information, he said, "The only thing I can tell you is that very soon there will be important news about Revolution."

Ending the Revolution topics he finished by saying, "We're all wondering what the Revolution controller will look like, but I think right now we should focus on discussing our current products."

Assuming Nintendo holds true to its promises, we'll be hearing more in the coming weeks. Stay tuned for that. In the meantime, you can spend your time daydreaming about Revolution's mystery, the controller, and fragging little girls and old people over wi-fi.

So what did we learn from this?

1. Nintendo realizes just how uncool they are in the eyes of young males and has decided to target little girls and old people instead. Revolution launch titles will include Rainbow Unicorn Makeover Party and Super Matlock World.

2. Even Nintendo doesn't know what the hell the Revolution controller will look like.

3. Important Revolution info is coming really soon. Promise.

Talk about taking the wrong impression from a message... :)

Keep in mind that they're translating from German.

I totally agree on getting more players and more people to play, that's what third parties do; they offer choices to consumers so they have more than 5 games a year to choose from. It's why the PSX, PS2 and soon the PS3 has such a broad audience. If you dont like what's available today, then by tomorrow there will be 12 new games to choose from and chances are atleast one of those games will be popular among little girls and/or old people, like virtual doll games and life simulatoirs like the Sims or hopefully some games with some actual depth in the story. Any random script from Matlock is twice as better than the best video game story simply because it doesnt involve an introspective teenager with angst who needs to destroy the horrible mutant robots by growing muscles or firing larger bullets.

More games for Germany? Okay, the new Simulation game where you have to manage a containment camp! How long can you keep them going with the limited food supply? Get more money if you can beat them and keep them alive! Moral must constantly be reduced to 0!

...

Seriously, that's a joke. I realize that's one of the most horrific ideas for a game yet. We just can't DO that.

Yes, expanding the gamer userbase is definitely a worthy pursuit. Is there a good reason, really, why the young male demographic is so utterly dominant in the videogame market? I know it's a young industry but it's been around for a few decades now... and expanding the userbase is something that needs to happen/continue to happen. Games for old people? Why not? (though I'm not sure what kind of game would interest them, and it'd have to not involve anything with button-mashing or timing... menus are good. :))

Part of the tabletop strategy/wargaming crowd is aging into its 50s, and they seem to have a good grasp of technology at any rate. I guess that might a market to tap into, though I suspect they would prefer playing games on their PCs rather than on consoles.

Yes, wargaming probably is the field with the most older people... and it's also a small, niche market that now is mostly stuck with online-only sales. But it used to be more popular and probably could be again, in the right circumstances...